Chapter 4

I rushed to the emergency unit of the Global Springs Hospital fortunately close to my workplace. Anshuman’s worried parents sat huddled with his sister and brother-in-law outside the unit. His mother saw me and broke down. His brother-in-law was with the police and I heard him occupied on the phone.

“Vandu beta…” His mom wailed. “…look what happened all of a sudden…my Anshu is so careful. You know that right? How could he get hit in the middle of the highway…what on earth was he doing there?” His mother drawled on.

“Maaji…” The brother-in-law spoke sternly with the air of authority. “…this was no accident. My guy checked the CCTV footage. Anshuman was pushed in front of a car, and the number plates are fake as well. Something isn’t sitting right. We don’t know the identity of the guy who pushed him… the footage is hazy.”

I felt the ground sweep away beneath my feet. Who would do that to Ansh. He was a peace-loving popular guy and always so helpful.

Later Anshuman was wheeled into emergency surgery and while we waited in anticipation, A group of policemen walked up to us. The bro-in-law introduced all of us and said he had arranged for this team to probe into the accident or attempted homicide…

My head was reeling. What was going on with Anshuman? Did he have any enemies that I didn’t know about? He had always been there for me every step of the way and to see him so fragile and incapacitated was torturous.

“Ms. Vandana we need your help here.” The police in charge of the investigation informed me.

I went with him to a little make-shift table with PCs and a bunch of wires around them. I was glad Anshuman had someone in the police from his home. His bro-in-law had set up everything right there in the hospital corner so Anshuman’s security as well as the investigation could be held together.

I sat across the table and was served the machine coffee. It tasted like mud, but anything warm was ok for my chilled soul.

“Ms. Vandana, please take a look at the footage. This was captured a few minutes before the accident and from a couple of lanes away from where you reside. We don’t know what Anshuman was doing there late in the afternoon on a working day, especially when he had a meeting in his office. None of the witnesses have come forward, and no one seems to know anything there. Either they are lying or don’t want to get involved… So we are going the roundabout way.”

I was shocked to hear that and also scared. Right then, they played the footage to me. Anshuman was walking on that lane. It was the same one where my favorite bakery and boutique were located. The quality was grainy but I couls recognize Anshuman from anywhere. He was looking towards the bakery first and then a couple of shops later he was staring at the boutique and then took out his mobile. Right then, a man in a hoodie came from nowhere and hit him on the head. He almost collapsed. My heart stilled to see another person in black overalls join the hoodied guy and drag Ansh away from there. All in a matter of a minute or so. The footage then moved to the highway and I saw Anshuman struggling to let loose while they waited at one side of the highway. This was the segment without zebra crossing, and people avoided it. Also, traffic was sparse due to some ongoing stir at one end of town. These guys seemed to know all that very well. They had to be locals.

As if waiting for a vehicle they let go of Anshuman… no they pushed him right before an oncoming vehicle. I screamed as I saw the accident happen. It was a miracle Anshuman survived that dreaded assault.

“Ms. Vanada, calm down, please. Do you think you can identify the assailants?” The inspector in-charge asked me in a kind voice.

I realized I was crying and accepted the tissue he offered with trembling hands. I shook my head, but at the back of my head, I knew I saw something familiar. But these days, my mind was mush and even more so now. I drew a blank.

I sipped the rotten coffee and tried to recollect what I had seen. What was the familiar thing that caught my eye?

I went home later in the night and saw my mobile had about 30 missed calls from Anand. I suddenly felt guilty. I had forgotten to call him in the fiasco.

I texted him about Anshuman’s accident but left out other details. He was a bit hot-headed, and I didn’t want him to jump to conclusions and come out guns blazing in jealousy. But it was 2 AM, and my phone buzzed. Though I was too tired and sapped off energy, I answered it.

“How are you doing, beautiful?” Anand’s chirpy voice sprang from the earpiece. Really? At 2 AM? And not a word about Anshuman…

“I am tired, Anand. Shall we talk tomorrow? I need to sleep now.”

“Sorry, darling, but I missed you like hell. I had kept myself free to have a beautiful relaxed evening and night with you. When you weren’t reachable… I lost it. Its.. ok… we will talk tomorrow.”

I felt guilty all of a sudden. Anand only had my best interests in mind. I promised to see him the next day as I had taken an off already. I had planned to stay in the hospital all day, but I could spare a few hours for Anand.

The next day I was in the hospital right in the morning and Anshuman had still not regained consciousness. The doctors spoke about medically induced coma to let the swelling in the brain come down. I wanted him to recover and also wanted to know what made him go to that lane that day… Anshuman’s accident had shaken me to the core, and for the first time in months, I didn’t want to go to Anand, leaving Anshuman in the hospital. Nothing else interested me anymore. The thoughts of losing my best friend for good scared the daylights out of me.

Later in the evening, when I met Anand, he gifted me with yet another dress, and I snapped at him, mentally taxed.

“What is this, Anand? I am in no mood to celebrate. My best friend is fighting for his life and this…”

“…So what…?” He snapped back. “…life goes on. When my parents died I was at work the next day as if nothing had happened. No one around me knew what tragedy had befallen me and I was only 15.”

I stared at a fuming Anand. His expression had changed, and he had zoned out. This was the first time he had mentioned his family. I immediately walked to his side and hugged him. He bent and dug his head into my bosom and circled my torso. He was a tall guy, and even though sitting, his head reached my neck.

I rubbed his back and promised to get his story after this event had passed. I would be the ear he needed to vent. I would be there for him…

That night we went to another hotel close to my house and our union was explosive. Anand was in a different realm altogether and he went on at least three more times. I didn’t want it but I couldn’t refuse him… he needed it and I felt obliged to give in. He slept at 3 AM and though I was sleep-deprived and had a workday coming up I couldn’t sleep a wink. Something troubled me.

I released myself from his hold and sat up even as the chill of the AC seeped into my skin. I looked at my guy in the dim night light. He looked like a child when he slept. When awake, Anand was all cautious as if trying to be someone he wasn’t. I was about to sleep again when my eyes fell on his bracelet, sheepishly peeping out of the robe he had hurriedly put on before falling asleep.

It hit me right then like a lightning strike. I saw this bracelet shining on that footage of the man pushing Anshuman. No… I clenched at the bedsheet near my chest. No way… Anand was a kind-hearted guy. Temperamental but never someone to hurt anyone.

I had to be sure… tears rolled down my cheeks as I dressed. Anshuman’s warning began to ring in my ears. I didn’t know anything about Anand, and I had, like a fool, never bothered to find out too. What was wrong with me?

I raced towards my home in the wee hours of the morning and immediately called the inspector in charge unmindful of the time. I requested to see the footage again.

I sat in front of those monitors in an hour as I scanned the footage and I was right. The bracelet was peeping out of the guy’s hand as he hit Anshuman. My anger rose, but I didn’t want to jump to conclusions without proof. I told the brother-in-law all about Anshuman’s doubts about Anand and now my doubts. Anshuman deserved my moment of truth. At that moment, though, I hated myself like never before.

I waited outside the ICU with bated breath, my crying not subsiding at all as I saw Anshuman’s battered body through the tiny glass window. His parents had to return because of their business in their hometown and his ailing grandmother. I put up an extended leave of absence at my workplace, not bothered about any pay cuts or other penalties. I was somehow responsible for my friend’s state, and I would see that he emerged safely.

On the other hand, if my suspicions about Anand were true, then I would ensure he was brought to justice. The police were on their toes investigating Anand.

My phone was on silent mode and except for a couple of calls from the office there was nothing. There were many unread texts but the last text caught my eye.

‘Manjit Singh our class four employee from outsource, is no longer employed with us and the contract company has nothing to do with the man anymore.

Signed.’

Now why did it strike me odd? There was no call or message from Anand. Why did I feel that it was the lull before the storm?

And I wasn’t wrong. I went home that night from the hospital and security handed me a parcel. It didn’t have the sender’s name.

Reaching home I opened it, and to my horror, the last new outfit Anand had purchased for me was in rags…literally chopped off. There was a note too. Wait it was written in paint…no correction…it was blood. I almost dropped it.

‘Beautiful,

I am disappointed in you. I loved you more than life itself and removed all obstacles in your path. And you… betrayed me…

Wait and watch…

Mind-winner’

 I called the police again, and they swarmed my place. I was conscious as everyone in my housing society would now know about this. But I didn’t care anymore; my suspicions about Anand were confirmed.

There was a constable posted outside my home at night while during the day I was in the hospital watching over a comatose Anshuman. Almost a week passed before Anshuman regained consciousness. He would require months of rehabilitation by he had his friend with him and I would leave no stone unturned to see he was back on his feet,

He recognized all of us, and I was relieved his mental functioning was fine so far. The only setback was that Anand was missing. The police had launched a manhunt for him, but he was nowhere in sight. The police had also confirmed Anshuman’s findings and were digging the guy’s past.

I was drowned in guilt. This was all because of my stupidity… I was proving my father correct. I was naïve and easily trusting.

Anshuman began to recover well and I helped him with physiotherapy. He was now able to eat independently but was still in the hospital.

One day about a month after the accident, I was yet to resume my work and got a call from HR. I was prepared to resign. But I was in for a rude shock. I was charged with embezzling of funds from my department. The summons were made and I was presented before the board for an explaination.

I was clueless… how could that happen. I was in charge of the lower-level financial transactions, and my boss would blindly sign my sheets daily. In the two years that I was with the office, I had never had a single discrepancy. So this was shocking for everyone.

Fortunately, Anshuman’s brother-in-law helped. He recommended a cyber investigator and I found someone had siphoned me off. Someone had used my Special key and then password repeatedly—even when it was not office hours.

My office had hidden cameras, a couple of them on my floor because of the intense transactions. In one such, we caught Manjit doing the deed and wait… he had removed his uniform and was in a t-shirt. I then saw the bracelet…

I only wished the ground beneath opened and I could sink inside. The bastard had tricked me in every way… But why? What did I ever do to him? It was Manjit all the time… Man-jit… translated as mind-winner.

I was greatly mistaken if I thought this was the end of my ordeal.

I was acquitted of the charges but had to resign from my job. This was the beginning of my penalties. A few days later, as I walked into my housing society after spending the day at the hospital, I found everyone staring at me, even giggling. The women dragged their little children away and gave me scornful looks.

The secretary walked towards me, and in the next ten minutes, I was seated in the society office. Still clueless.

The clouds shifted, and I almost collapsed when I saw the video circulated on the local cable network. It was soft porn, and I was the starrer. It was the first time I had visited Anand in that hotel. Only my face and the partly blurred body were visible but not Anand’s. His hands were, however, seen as they… and that bracelet. I shuddered as I got the notice to evict the house I had rented. Yet another penalty.

I moved to Anshuman’s home and fortunately, he was soon discharged from the hospital. I immersed myself in taking care of him, and he encouraged me to complete my studies. Every two days, I faced some new fiasco of my video surfacing somewhere before the cyber police took it down. But the damage to my reputation was done at my old home and office. Anshuman, however, was my support system, and I would have given up on my life itself, had it not been for his unwavering support.

This torture went on for a few months while Anand wasn’t caught. After that, the police also found out more about him. Anand was wanted in a couple of other cities for stalking women and driving them both to suicide. Those cases were shut because the estranged families of the girls didn’t want to pursue the cases. Anand was his given name, however. She realized he had chosen her for her history as well.

One day, a few months down the line it was my birthday, and Anshuman, was now able to move with little help. He had planned a little party today evening at the house and had invited some of our college friends.

I had seen a tiny box in his drawer he had fondly been staring at the night before and had hidden it away as soon as he saw me coming in. I knew he was going to propose to me and this time I couldn’t let him go… I think I had always been fond of Anshuman, but it took a disaster to realize I had been in love with him. He was reliable but most importantly, he respected me and loved me immensely to lay down his life for me. I couldn’t live a day without Anshuman. Even when I saw Anand, I used to think about Anshuman almost every day… I now wanted to make fresh beginnings.

Anshuman wanted to move to his hometown, close to Indore, and I supported his decision. He wanted to help in the family business and expand it as well. My parents were close to Anshuman from the start and they had given their blessings to us indirectly.

Everything in my life was falling into place, and I was a few months away from securing my post-graduate degree.

I decided to splurge on a pretty dress. It always made me feel good when I dressed well. It would be a surprise for Anshuman too.

I entered my favorite boutique, and the feeling of dread engulfed me. Something wasn’t right here and my premonitions never let me down before.

The owner happily welcomed me and showed a few dresses and some new arrivals. As I shuffled through the clothes a sense of being watched tagged along. I looked around but didn’t find anything amiss.

I went into the changing room and as I changed into the new dress, I teirled around looking into the full length mirror.

“Oh my beautiful… you are gorgeous as ever. Pity it isn’t for me…” the hoarse voice sent a chill down my spine. I looked back to see Anand emerge from the shadow in the back. What was he doing here and since when was he here? My mind went overdrive but my purse was outside on the counter.

I screamed and called out to the owner, but Anand only laughed like a maniac. He was unkempt, and his hair had reached his shoulders. His eyes were bloodshot as if he was high.

“No one’s going to hear you, beautiful… this boutique belongs to my sister…”

He moved swiftly before the information could sink in, placing a cloth over my mouth, and I sank into blackness.

I woke hours later tied to a chair in a dark room where I heard murmurs… no it sounded like an argument. I tried to move, but the ropes dug deep into my wrist. I was sure they would leave marks on my delicate skin.

Wait… was I going to die like this? No… it couldn’t happen.

A while later, a stoned Anand strutted in and chuckled as he brought his stinking self towards me. L looked away but his rough hands got my face close to his, and he slammed his mouth on mine. It wasn’t gentle at all, and I tasted blood. He then pushed me hard and I fell on the hard floor with a thud. I hit my head too and could feel the liquid trickle down my forehead.

Where are you, Anshuman… please help me. Will I ever get to see you again?

Anand took out his belt and rained blows on me even as I whimpered in agony. He swore, called me names and continued to hit me till I stopped feeling anything. The door to the room cracked open and I saw his sister rush to hold him back.

“Stop it dear, she isn’t worth it. You got your revenge. Enough… lets escape. She will rot here till they find her body” She pleaded.

“Wait… why…? What was my fault…?” I struggled to speak.

She moved ahead of her brother, who like a meek puppy, stumbled away and plonked on the floor.

“Bitches like you think you are privileged and can do anything you want to…My parents were so harsh on us… they wanted us to excel in studies and everything else… I wanted to be a free bird but my miserly parents didn’t give me a pie. And then my brother turned out like this… He wanted to become a model but got rejected umpteen times. He was later diagnosed with schizophrenia… I decided to kill two birds with a stone. I made him kill my parents… it was easy. Just had to tweak his medications. I am a pharmacy graduate, so knew the tricks. No one understood how my parents were poisoned dead while we escaped with a bit of hospitalization….” She laughed and I got goosebumps, my pain had numbed away. “…  I inherited all the money and property to enjoy my life and my brother too deserved something, didn’t he? So I moved with him place to place and let him find gullible women and help himself with them, all the while believing he was a model…social media helped a lot…”

“You are a bitch….” I said, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of victory. “…you ruined your brother’s life for your selfish whims… it was all you, right? who created those videos…”

“Do I need to admit? You are smart… but too smart for your own good…it time you are reminded who you really are… you belong to my brother and he will brand you forever…”

Before I could realise, she brought in a stamp… really?? A hot stamp and pressed it on my wrist below the ropes. My skin burnt and I screamed…

I don’t know how long I lay like that. Or how many days I lay there. My body fluids had gathered around me the stench being unbearable. Anand visited me frequently but only stared and I thought I saw him cry once…

It was a nightmare that could only end with my death. I had mentally prepared to meet my maker. My thoughts only drifted towards Anshuman and I only wished I could tell him, I loved him…

Finally, the door broke open one day, and I saw daylight for the first time in days. Someone rushed towards me and I felt my arms being released. My blurred vision only saw a worried Anshuman moving his lips but I couldn’t hear anything.

I only uttered, “I…. love…. You…” I then collapsed.

Today

I stood with Anshuman on the hotel’s terrace where our reunion party was in full swing. Anshuman held me close knowing very well what was going on in my mind.

After I had regained consciousness in the hospital, Anshuman had revealed that I was in that dungeon for two whole days. On his brother-in-law’s insistence he had placed a tracker in my purse and had been suspicious of the boutique when it didn’t move from there. In fact, he had seen Anand visit the boutique once and observed him. Anshuman had been curious about Anand’s relationship with the owner and was trying to get details, when Anand had assaulted him.

The police had caught the other thugs involved and it wasn’t long before they found the dungeon. The sister had resisted and tried to kill herself. She died in the hospital later. Anand was now in the mental institution in solitary confinement.

After my hospital stay for a month, where I had  a few surgeries for fracture and grafting for the ruined skin on my wrist, I often got panic attacks. Then the lockdown had begun and Anshuman and I got to spend more time together. We even got engaged in an intimate ceremony and were to be married soon.

Anshuman had been the source of strength and my rock throughout. I didn’t have to tell him anything like this moment and he would be there for me. I finished my MBA a little later and started my consultancy services. Again, Anshuman helped me and was patient with me. There are still a few unanswered questions about Anand and his background that the police have kept classified, but I am not interested anymore. Its my dark past.

Our first union was slow and passionate where Anshuman was on eggshells. I had tears as I saw how gentle he was with me, given my fragile mental state. He wanted to wait, but I wanted him… to feel him close to me… to feel the truth that I was alive and well.

I inhaled deeply and looked up at my husband-to-be dapper in his green t-shirt and jacket. He smiled and bent to lay a peck on my forehead, something I loved. It gave me a sense of security. I know it will be a while for me to emerge from the trauma ultimately. I probably never will… but irrespective of everything, I had Anshuman with me, my best friend, my fiancé, my lover… my everything.

I learned that social media has its ups and downs, and we have to beware of strangers lurking around with their invisible cloak of thorns.

After all it all began with an innocent friend request….

©priyagole

I got involved…

I then got stabbed in the lungs

I was then asked, ‘why was I breathing?’

I was dressed in my finest clothes. It was a printed crisp cotton salwar kameez with a beautiful yoke that had caught my eye when I saw it at the boutique. Somehow this guy always loved my clothes from this boutique, and I realized I had splurged quite a bit in the last few days.

Was I trying to please him? When did I get so pathetic?

I couldn’t focus the entire day at work and realized I was walking on air. My colleagues also found me acting strangely, but they didn’t speak a word. I was known to snap if things didn’t go my way or if someone tried to put me down. When I was new in this city years ago, I had an accent whenever I spoke in English and I wondered if I still had the insecurity complex.

Even Anshuman, at times, made fun of me for some of the words I pronounced. But to give the guy credit, he helped me learn the pronunciations well. So I would be forever indebted to him.

Mind-winner was the first guy who didn’t comment on my accent. In fact, he only heaped praises on me. Was that a red flag? Well, at that time, it didn’t seem so. I was thoroughly blinded.

So that evening he texted me to wait at a particular restaurant. It was quite a distance from my workplace but he had some shooting where he would be held up and he wished to be there on time. I appreciated his ‘concern.’

SO that evening at 8 PM I waited in that strange lounge. It was dimly lit and was the first time I visited a place like this. There was a dark corner where I could only see silhouettes and tiny red dots representing the cigarettes as the smoke drew myriad patterns above. 

Suddenly I had that sensation of being watched coming from that dark corner. I was uneasy and tried to ignore it but it just wouldn’t go away. I realized it was half an hour and my date was running late. There was no message, and I was about to leave when someone held my hand. I almost screamed but as I reflexly turned around, my eyes fell on the most gorgeous green eyes, and I was held captive into their depths.

My rational thinking all went into the dumps, and I stood gawking at him wide-eyed. I felt like a deer caught in the headlights.

“Hey beautiful… apologies for running late…” He drawled in that husky voice and I was a goner. Handsome was an understatement for this guy. The perfectly angled chiseled jaw was as if he was sculpted with the utmost care by the Almighty. The bright yellow tee brought out his wheatish complexion and his picture on Social media didn’t do him justice. No wonder he was a model, a tall toned model. He probably worked hard to keep his place in the industry.

He waved his hand before my face to get my attention and chuckled as I startled.

“Um… Hi…” was all I could utter.

We sat back on our table and he got talking. Describing his job and how his eyes lit up I knew he loved his work. His clothes looked rich and I guessed he made good money. Our waiter came along and he insisted on ordering. I didn’t care sionce I didn’t know the best dish there. He seemed familiar with the place and I also saw him nod to a couple of waiters. Did he frequent here and come along with anyone else before me?

Now… was ai jealous? It was the first date, after all. I barely knew him… but I couldn’t help the fierce attraction I felt for him… Was that love?

It was as if Anshuman was breathing warning into my ears, I suddenly felt I knew this guy from somewhere. Not our chats but someplace elsewhere.

“So tell me your name.” I blurted out, and he stopped eating.

He stared at me till what I felt was an eternity. Did I offend him by asking his name?

“Anand… I am meant to spread happiness…” He smiled, his dimple deepening, and I thought I would sink into their depths.

That was a lovely name. As the evening progressed, I was mesmerized by his words. He chose them beautifully as if he was meant to be a poet and not a model. Before I realized it was 11PM, we walked hand in hand outside. The breeze blew across my face ruffling my hair, putting to rest all my apprehensions.

He dropped me home hailing an Uber and throughout the journey I placed my tired head on his hard chest. He played with my hair and hugged me close.

As I went to bed that night I felt cherished and loved like never before.

I had never shared my address with him before and he knew where I lived. Shouldn’t that have been another red flag? But I was in love, and that emotion was the thickest blinder.

Thus began our relationship. We met once in two days and it wasn’t long before we decided to take it to the next level.

We sat on the Marine Drive seafront watching the high waves hit the boulders and sprinkle salty hues on us. It was a beautiful evening and I was carefree. It was then he tilted my head and kissed me. That was my first deep kiss and it was as if he had poured all he had into it.

I was transported to a world away from all my personal and professional troubles.

Something about him that day seemed familiar yet again. Was it his lopsided smile? Or his voice that suddenly increased in pitch at the end of his sentences or was it the way he smelled? His fragrance seemed familiar. I had a strong memory for smells and I was sure I had smelt it somewhere else. No… it wasn’t in the office… Somehow my memory at that moment was clouded by the passion unleashed in my mouth.

We couldn’t go back to my humble flat because I was a single woman and constantly under scrutiny. I could imagine the tongues wagging if a man were to leave my home the next day. Anand knew that too, and he crushed me to his hard body right there as the waves unleashing their fury witnessed.

“I don’t want you to get your name tainted because of me, beautiful….” Anand whispered into my ear, sending a strange wave of thrill, and my goosebumps stood ready to pluck themselves out of my limbs. “…I don’t want to have my image plastered on all six CCTV cameras in your society… so let’s go to a hotel. What say?”

I was so overwhelmed by the emotional and libido-induced onslaught I failed to realize yet another red flag. How on earth did he know about the number of CCTV cameras in my society? And why wasn’t he taking me to his house?

Fortunately, I had the good sense to ask him that.

“Oh beautiful, you ask too much. I live with a friend, so it won’t look good if we infringe upon his privacy.” He explained, and the guilty look on his face melted my doubts away.

The hotel he took me to was a simple two-star one but clean. He pounced on me the moment we shut the door of our room. I was scared initially, and why not? I was a virgin, for crying out loud. But he was rough… he tore away my clothes, and his greenish eyes had a strange tinge of something I couldn’t fathom.

I was shit scared but realized that was probably what it meant to be making love, and before I knew it, the deed was done. In the ten minutes, Anand didn’t utter a word, and the room filled with the cacophony of his grunts as he hammered his manhood inside my softness along with the rickety AC hum and the traffic outside, was now replaced by his heavy snores.

I gathered myself up and realized I was physically and mentally bruised. Somehow it didn’t seem like lovemaking. I stood up on wobbly legs and stared at my reflection in the spotty mirror. My bruises added to the spots staring back at me. I somehow made it back home that night, hoping no one noticed my upheaval.

I cried myself to sleep in the wee hours of the morning. This wasn’t what I had expected. It was meant to be lovemaking, but why did it feel like rape?

The continuous pinging of incoming messages woke me. It was Anand.

‘Sorry darling… but were you upset?’

‘I was fast, wasn’t I? But you looked so gorgeous I couldn’t help myself…’

‘Can you forgive me this once? I promise to make it up to you.’

We met that evening, and he hugged me, uttering sweet nothings in my ears. He gifted me a new dress that day, his first gift to me.

aWait… I had seen an identical one at that boutique, but it was way too expensive.

“Anand, this is too much… I can’t….” I stuttered, still wondering how he knew that place. But I had tagged the store in my posts on social media, so he had to know.

“Hey, beautiful, I make good money. And you are the only one for me… So, cant I give this to the woman I love?”

Love? Did he say, love? I hugged him back and that night we shared a night of passion. He was relatively gentle this time and I rested assured.

This went on for the next six months. We met regularly after work, and after passion-filled nights, I returned half-heartedly to work the next day. Weekends were busy for me with my classes but still he would be there to pick me up to the envy of most of the females around. I was on the seventh heaven.

This was what I always wanted, didn’t I?

I had to keep our rendezvous a secret from my colleagues. I soon realized I had alienated myself from all my friends, especially Anshuman, who returned next month. I barely spoke at home. No one these days knew about my whereabouts.

Yet another red flag but my blinders were firmly in place.

One day about five months into our clandestine meets, there was a massive fire in my office building. Our office was closer to the exit and we all escaped but the higher floors were affected. Fortunately, though there were no fatalities, the offices were gutted totally and a few employees suffered burn injuries.

Many of us thronged to see the list of the injured to check if they needed help. I was glad none of my acquaintances were hurt. But what caught my eye was a couple of the class four employees were injured and one of them was Manjeet. Manjeet had been very kind to me every time he served tea or ran an errand and I felt bad for the guy. One of our colleagues returned from the hospital where everyone was admitted and reported that all were out of danger.

“By the way our Manjeet is burnt quite a bit. His back is scalded. The poor guy must be in pain…” My collegue retorted.

We all pooled in money to give it to the guy for treatment.

The accident took a toll on me emotionally and I longed to meet Anand. But I was in for a rude shock… Anand texted me, he was roped in for an outdoor shoot for a few days and we wouldn’t be meeting for a while.

Fortunately, Anshuman was back and the most reliable friend I had spared no efforts to cheer me up. I was blessed to have such people in my life. I gradually told him about Anand and as expected Anshuman wasn’t happy.

“Vandu, you know nothing about this guy… somehow he seems very controlling, and… I don’t know but I don’t get good vibes from him.” Anshuman said softly as we sat across each other in our favorite café.

“Don’t worry Ansh, I know him enough to love him… the rest will follow. It’s not like we are getting married or something…” It suddenly struck me I hadn’t discussed future plans with Anand and made it a point to ask him in outcall tonight.

“Just… be careful Vandu, alright?”

I only nodded.

A few days later, I was yet to see Anand in person but Anshuman urgently called me out to the café. He showed me his phone with some details.

“As you see Anand is nowhere registered among modeling agencies in Mumbai. No one in the field knows him either or has seen someone like him. You Vandu have no clue about his projects either… something isn’t right…” Anshuman said in a single breath.

“…Wait…” I interrupted him annoyed. “…you have been investigating Anand?”

“Of course I did and I was right Vandu. He is no good. I think he is just taking you for a ride. Else why would he hide anything about himself? Wake up Vandu…”

“…Enough Ansh… enough please….”

But nothing brought down my anxiety till I spoke to Anand that night. I subtly conveyed what I found out. But instead of clarifying he was angry.

“I don’t believe this Vandana….” He said out my name that meant he was upset with me. He often did that. “…Despite all that’s happened between us you think this is all a joke? I thought we loved each other and trusted each other… is this because you like that guy friend of yours? Do you want to break up then…?”

Where did that come from?

“Relax Anand… Anshuman is my friend for the last so many years and there is nothing on between us.”

“Maybe for you Vandu but I think he likes you and can’t tolerate the idea of you being with anyone else…”

Anand abruptly disconnected and we didn’t speak for the next two days. I missed him like hell and was annoyed at Anshuman for creating a rift between us.

Anand finally met me after a month and he seemed very sick and had lost weight. He just spoke about burnout after a hectic schedule and gifted me another beautiful dress from the same boutique… I put all my apprehensions about his career to rest. How could he afford a dress worth 15K if he didn’t make good money? He treated me to an elaborate meal at the Taj and I decided I would give anything to be with this guy…

That was the last night I rested assured. The next evening I got a message that Anshuman was badly injured in a hit and run accident outside his office.

©priyagole

Innocence is overrated

The stampede of mankind tramples you all over.

It’s only the innocence in you that keeps you alive

Beware of whom you bare your soul to

There is always a wolf in sheep’s clothing…

December 2017

“Welcome trainees to the head office of HMBD ltd. Some of you were with us right after college and now we are proud to have you back along with your MBAs in progress…” the HR guy drawled on and I looked at my batchmates as we all clapped for each other.

It was a proud moment for me. I had been through a lot after Rasik had broken my heart. Fortunately for me I had Anshuman, the gem of a friend that he was, he had held me as I had cried and counselled me to get back to studies with a bang. I topped the college and was given a red-carpet welcome in the bank. Not just that, I cleared an entrance exam and got into a prestigious weekend MBA program specially designed for us who had day jobs. Only a year more and I would get my post-graduate degree in my hands. I got a huge scholarship, and my salary savings took care of the rest.

I was on the seventh heaven. My father kept calling me back and was at his wit’s end, threatening to sever ties. But I didn’t care anymore. I was no longer dependent on him, and my mom secretly supported me. And then there was Anshuman and a few of my college friends who helped me out at times.

Overall it was a great life, and I was living every moment of it to the fullest. But there was a void that needed to be filled. I felt I needed a soulmate… someone I could flaunt to my parents and prove how successful I was. Was I vain?

It was the Christmas party in the office, and we had a brief respite in the weekend classes. So I was all dolled up on Friday night and had decided to let my hair down late into the night. So I could sleep the whole day later!

As always, Anshuman, who worked in an MNC close by wasn’t in favor. He called me that evening.

“Vandu, don’t you think you are going overboard? You aren’t a party person and a poor drinker. You cant hold your alcohol beyond a little glass… what if…”

“…Relax, Ansh…” I interrupted him. I didn’t need another father in the city. “…I won’t be taking hard drinks at all and my colleagues will be there as well…even the class four employees… you know them right? Raju, Manjit, Shanta…”

Anshuman had his office in the same building as mine, and as he knew, most of the class four employees as offices often shared them. Moreover, outsourcing was the norm these days. Organizations wanted to cut costs and outsource than employ full-time lower-level employees.

“… wait Manjit… is he going to be there too?” Ansh asked me.

“Yeah… why?”

“That guy is strange, don’t you think, Vandu?”

There he went again. Anshuman never trusted men around me after the Rasik debacle. I know he had feelings for me beyond friendship, but I didn’t feel the same, and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship by talking about it. So I hoped someday when I found my soulmate, I would gradually break the news to Anshuman. But till then, I was happy in the friend zone.

“There is nothing strange anywhere Ansh… you should stop being so suspicious.”

“Vandu, stay away from that man. Alright? Something doesn’t sit right with him.”

“Non-sense Ansh and why on earth am I going to interact with the class four employees? I don’t know them well anyways…”

“Fine then… text me when you get home tonight.” Anshuman said firmly and I giggled.

So finally that evening, I walked into the club where the party was held and headed towards my friends from the office. I looked around and saw it was semi-dark… complete party mode. The music played the recent hits and some of the office guys were already on the dance floor. Drinks were being served, and I had made it a point not to ruin my evening just to indulge in hard drinks.

The class four employees were paid overtime to double up as servers at the party. There was some strike going on and the club was short-staffed. I was chatting with my friend and suddenly felt eyes on me. We girls have that radar rather sharp…  I turned around and tried to look but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. Anshuman must have indeed got into my head.

I shook my head and as my friends drawled on about their guys, I was bored and took out my mobile phone. I was a relatively new entrant on social media and it wasn’t until a couple of months ago that I had started posting pictures. I loved to dress well, and whenever I felt good, I posted the pics.

Unlike my friends, I posted pics where I was fully clad… like salwar kameez. But today evening I had indulged in this figure-hugging glittery gown with thin straps that showed off my ample cleavage. It cost me a bomb but the appreciative glances coming my way made up for everything. In fact the boutique owner clicked a picture of mine to show it to the designer… if my picture got selected, then I would win an assignment. That would be a massive boost to my income.

I chuckled, thinking of how Anshuman would throw a fit if he saw me like this.

Nonetheless, I had clicked a few good pictures as I entered the venue and had posted one on my page. I scrolled through the page and smiled, thrilled at the barrage of compliments coming my way. My picture had received record likes. Like the last post, I had forgotten to change the privacy setting of my photo to ‘friends’, and currently, it was public.

My last picture was a simple one in white salwar kameez, and there was one comment from someone called the mind-winner. The Profile picture of the person just showed a teddy bear.. I mean really? I wanted to delete his words but they were beautiful.

‘the white brings out your beauty absolute

You seem a lady with class and the right attitude…’

Who would want to delete the words? They weren’t obscene or anything. I let them be.

Today too, the person had commented.

It isn’t the gold that glitters

Your inner hues scream to exit…

Despite myself, I smiled, and then I felt that prickling sensation once again…

I turned around and almost collided with Manjit in a funny uniform, carrying a tray.

“Hello madam, Hara bhara kabab?” He smiled. He looked so innocent I almost chuckled, thinking about Anshuman’s warning. Manjit was plump and tall but he had his face covered by the heavy beard and we always referred to him  as ‘teddy bear’

I chuckled and nodded and took a couple of pieces. I was blessed with a heavenly metabolism that let me indulge in delicacies without bothering to pile on the pounds!

Manjit disappeared without giving me a second glance and I got back to my photo gallery to check through the pics that the boutique owner had clicked. She had made me try a couple of other dresses, but they were too expensive. She said, if I won the contest by the designer, I would get to keep the dresses as well… who in their right mind would refuse to participate?

The music changed, and my friends called me to shake a leg. I wasn’t fond of dancing, and the gown was a bit too tight.  Right then, my phone pinged with an incoming notification.

‘you have received a new friend request from mind-winner’

I stared at it for a while and as I contemplated whether to accept it or not, the person’s profile picture changed and OMG… my eyed bulged out of their sockets. It was a hot shirtless guy flaunting his perfect pack of abs I almost drooled over them. But then I knew of many instances where the pictures posted was often fake… but his profile information read, his name was still Mind-winner and he was a model. Wow… there were no other pictures, and I was still skeptical about accepting his friend request.

Right then, my messenger pinged, and it was a new one from Anand. I don’t know what got over me; I accepted the message. But not before I changed my photo privacy settings.

‘Hey beautiful, care to be friends?’

I wasn’t sure but typed on.

‘I am sorry, but I don’t know you. I don’t become friends with strangers.’

‘Oh come on. When strangers get to know each other, they become friends, don’t they?’

‘I am not sure yet. My mother taught me to beware of strangers’

I knew I was playing around, but something about the guy was interesting.

‘I have known the ones closer do more damage.’  Now that was philosophical.

‘well… I know nothing about you… nothing at all. Not even a name…’ Now that was true and I was curious to know this person.

‘Whats in a name. This life is a stage and we are all born to play characters, aren’t we?’ that was a funny retort.

‘cut the chase and just tell me your name. it isn’t fare that you know mine and I don’t know yours.’ I don’t know why and when exactly, but I found myself smiling. The entire environment around me had faded into oblivion.

‘I promise to reveal my name very soon… I love drama and my entry has to be dramatic too’

I laughed aloud and looked around embarrassed but I didn’t have to bother. Everyone was busy in their own world.

I accepted the friend request. Little did I know that this innocent banter was anything but that.

The next few days we chatted on messenger and he was his usual dramatic self. His compliments on my photos and quotes on social media were different from the rest and everyday I realized I looked forward to share my day with him.

I was usually a private person especially with strangers but this guy had the skill to make me reveal everything about myself. In the next fortnight or baring my band account number, phone number and home and work address, he knew everything about me. Right from my favourite food, outfits, hobbies, ambition…just about everything. Finally we shared our contact numbers.

Our chats continued on whatsapp. Where my DP was my day’s click at work, his was, well…. Lucifer. The caricature of the Devil. When I asked him he diverted the topic.

Meanwhile I kept getting that strange sensation of being watched in office  but found nothing amiss or out of place. A couple of times I felt someone follow me when I went out for groceries in the departmental store. I was scared for a bit and even contemplated telling Anshuman about it. But he had gone to the US for work and I didn’t want to disturb him. Knowing the guy he would catch the next available flight back home and put me under house arrest.

I should have… informed Anshuman.

A month later I realized I was crazy about mind-winner and wanted to meet him. I realized I knew nothing accept that he was thirty-years-old and a model. I still didn’t know his name. The man hadn’t even called and when I did he disconnected or didn’t answer. He said he was always working. I had distanced myself from all my old friends and Anshuman too. Everyone thought I was busy with my studies and workload… but honestly I didn’t want to talk to them anymore. Mind-winner occupied most of my wakeful thoughts.

These should have been the red flags for me but I had my dimwit blinders on…

One fine day after a week of texting on phone he called me. I only stared at his name flashing on the screen, excitement surging through my body.

I coyly answered. “Hello?”

“Hey…” The deep baritone sent shivers and my heart began to pound at marathon speed. “…So we finally get to talk, beautiful.”

I was spellbound by his voice that I didn’t realise I was on silent mode.

“hello…? Are you there, beautiful?” his voice shook me out of my slumber.

“Yeah… yeah… I ….i am here…” I stuttered like an idiot.

“OK… so shall we meet tomorrow? After you get off work?” Wow that was quick.

“Yes of course… sure. Let me know the time and place. I shall be there.” I spoke in a single breath.

“Fine then I’ll text you… good night, beautiful…. Dream about me…like I do about you…” He drawled on before disconnecting.

I stared at the phone till eternity. Then dropping it on the bed I squealed and jumped around in my pyjamas. I was half in love with a stranger and was all set to meet him… finally.

I wish someone had told me to stop it all here…

Right here.

©priyagole

The balance sheet of my life= mess

Our life is a balance sheet

Sorrows are the liabilities

They make us feel low but

also, help us enjoy the essence of living

 i.e., the assets called ‘joys.’

I looked around the dazzling kaleidoscope of the strobe lights, the highlight of the evening even as my batchmates called me up the stage to shake a leg. We had gathered for the reunion of the St. Lawrence batch of 2015.

The 2015 musketeers… that’s what everyone called our batch. It was nostalgic to see everyone after so many years, particularly after things were looking up after the pandemic. God knew I needed this break desperately after the forgettable lousy couple of years that had passed, and I wasn’t mentioning the pandemic. But, of course, it was way before that… my personal lockdown.

Dance and I were the perennial nemeses.… I danced with my two left ones!! But still, Rasik Mathur stood gyrating in his trademark glazed leather pants. I watched the women around drool over that toned piece of muscle. Seven years did nothing to dampen his aura.

Rasik was the nectar we the girl bees swarmed over back in college! But he didn’t care. Breaking hearts was his favorite pastime. That rectangular face and the tanned rough skin accentuated by the beautiful night orbs that turned blue when he was in the mood… no, I won’t visit that. I was his last victim, and he had left me vulnerable…

I hailed from a two-tier city and was from a strict upbringing. My father was strictly against coming to Mumbai for studies from the secured Indore. More like he wanted me under his thumb, and I was a born rebel. I wanted to pursue a career in finance, and what better than the proverbial economic capital of the country?

So I had practically run away from home at 18 with my mother’s blessings and a disgruntled father’s ultimatum to return after my graduation to the guy he had planned to tie me down to!

In the first year here, I decided to stay back. I was finally living on my own, albeit in the hostel, but that little corner gave me a strange sense of independence I had craved for all my life. So I, Vandana Choksey, finally had an autonomous existence…

I led my life to the fullest, scoring well in exams in the next three years. I made some great friends, and the icing on the cake was getting a bank job that would give me the chance to complete my MBA in finance.

It was in the third year that Rasik had approached me. He was weak in Accounts and needed my help. I was overwhelmed by the fact that the richest and the most handsome dude in college had shown interest in me… I was a simpleton, and he was… well, the stud.

We met in the library frequently.

“Vandy…” He often called me that, and hearing the modification of my name in that sweet deep voice gave me goosebumps every single time. “… So what do you think of this balance sheet?”. He once asked during my coaching sessions in the library about a month after we had first begun to talk.

“Um… not bad. But I think the receivables are a bit on the higher side, and that makes no sense given the vision of the company…” I explained.

“…Ah… you are brilliant, Vandy. My father would have been proud to have you as a daughter.” He said in passing as he scrolled over the balance sheet once again.

I blushed. I thrived in praises heaped on me, mainly coming in from unexpected quarters. Rasik, it seemed from the way he stared at me, the way his eyes followed me as I moved into the library to find the books, that I was the only float for his drowning self!

We were soon a couple, not that we held hands and strolled in the campus or even watched a movie together. Nothing… we only met in the library, and then he was off after our lesson. My friends had warned me against the Casanova of the college, but my blinders were tightly fitted. So I refused to see the red flags.

My best buddy Anshuman was against my ‘relationship’.

“Vandu, you shouldn’t see that jerk. He is up to no good.” Anshuman once said when we were eating together in the cafeteria. It was three months into my meetings with Rasik.

“Ansh, relax, alright? I know you mean well…” Anshuman was one of the select few who knew about my tryst back home. “…Rasik needs my help. That’s all.”

“Are you sure, Vandu? Because you haven’t been yourself ever since that asshole barged into your life. Your marks last term haven’t been the best, and you know you should do well to get that campus placement. HMBD ltd is the multinational coming over to scout new employees… don’t you know that? This is your chance.”

“Ansh… please. I know what I am doing.” I was irritated because the guy had hit a nerve. My marks were good but not the best according to my regular standards. He reminded me that it was vital that I aced across every subject so that my campus recruitment would be inevitable.

But how could I explain that to my traitorous heart? I was half in love with Rasik, his voice, his dimples as he smiled, the deep cleft in his chin that was enhanced with a day-old stubble… My insides turned into mush whenever his hand accidentally brushed mine or whenever I found him staring at me and looking away whenever I caught him. Was this love?

I got my answer a month before my final exams, the last day before we had study leave. Rasik invited me to a nearby café. I was over the moon. So finally, was he going to confess his feelings?

I wore my best salwar-kameez and found him waiting for me. But he didn’t smile… What was wrong?

We had an American cappuccino each, and he held my hand across the table, but instead of feeling the warmth, I felt the chill.

“Uh… Vandana…” What happened to Vandy? Why was he so formal I wondered as he continued. “… look… I want to thank you for helping me out with my studies. You are a wonderful person, but I think you have the wrong idea about everything.”

“What are you talking about, Rasik?” I released my hand, trying to salvage my pride or whatever was left of it.

“I heard some rumors about us being a couple, and the other day when Radha asked you, you didn’t deny either… so I thought…”

“…What? What did you think? That I was interested in a guy like you?” I tried not to cry and act strong.

“Oh, thank God then, Vandy, I am so relieved. So fine then… I will get going. Good luck with the exams.”

Saying he left the café leaving behind a half-consumed concoction that had gone cold just like my heart. I had just faced an unrequited love… It was my fault. I had expected too much or read more than was needed into our camaraderie.

The music changed into blaring, and I was jerked back to the present. It was seven years, and the hurt was still fleetingly there. I hugged myself as I saw Rasik feel up a woman close by, which put me off. How did I not realize this seven years ago? Now that I think of it, that very heartbreaking event in a way led to the catastrophe that followed me two years after I was out of college.

“Vandu…” I heard Anshuman call out to me as he balanced our drinks, maneuvering through curious classmates who were calling out to him. He was a popular guy, sweet and reliable. It was him who helped me get my life on track. I was living to tell the tale because of him…

I looked down at my wrist. The faint marks of the torture remained despite two surgeries. Nevertheless, it was a potent reminder of my life two years ago…

A wretched life that began towards the end of 2017 and ended in 2019… I shivered in the cold a little more than usual and felt the embers of my panic attack being stroked.

I felt that raspy voice whisper into my ear, the pricky beard roughing its way along my cheek, and I began to palpitate. I felt those calloused palms rubbing their way along my arms, and a chill ran down my spine.

My legs almost gave away, but Anshuman reached me right then, holding me close to his warmth and taking me away from the crowd. We exited the club room and walked outside… I was on autopilot, and Ansh didn’t utter a word. He knew everything I was going through… We walked to the open terrace, and as I took in the evening breeze, my palpitations began to subside.

Would I ever be able to get over the nightmare? I still saw him in my dreams, his green eyes, a rarity in our country that had me spellbound firmly into their grips and later terrorized the daylights out of me….

That was Anand… Anand Pal, the man who almost killed me, the man who haunted my dreams even today… the man who almost left me splintered for life.

It was the Christmas party of 2017 in our office, and that’s when it announced its arrival…

It all began with an innocent friend request….

©priyagole