NE8x® recognizes your efforts & contribution as Literary Honoree for Litfest 2021 Edition 7th May RABINDRA JAYANTI To commemorate spirit of literary excellence on Tagore’s birthday, NE8x® Litfest donated proceeds from registrations to social impact initiatives of the Tagore Foundation School

Chapter 14

A huge ball of grief was stuck in his throat as he began to hyperventilate. He was frozen to the hard, jagged ground with the droplets of rainwater falling on him from the crevises of the ruin. He didn’t care anymore, and before he could gather himself, he saw some movement.

The thunder raged, muting the voices, but a huge man covered by a black raincoat walked near the Queen whose eyes stared daggers at the man. All happened in quick succession and before he realized the man in the raincoat dripping with water landed a blow on the Queen’s head.

By default, Shiv’s training set in and was on high alert. He had to save the Queen as his father would have wanted to. So he made a quick mental calculation. Six men, including their leader and he could manage to contain them. But before he could move, a soft gasp alerted him to his side.

Princess Padmavati…

He watched her with expressionless eyes and vain tears streaming down her cheeks, and his heart caught in his throat again. But why didn’t she scream or react, and what was she doing here instead of being in her birthday bash in the palace? He realized she was shocked and hoped she didn’t do anything that would put her life in jeopardy. From his experience on the field, he also knew it would be detrimental to try to shake her out of her trance. He decided to have a go at the hooligans first and try to save the Queen, though he knew it would be futile by its grotesque looks.

But he had to do something for his father.

Before he could make his move Padma’s hand that had gripped the rusted bar on the window accidentally touched a loose stone that had been displaced, and the stone rolled down, landing next to the Queen, who was now gasping for breath. Shiv ducked instinctively and from the corner, watched in horror as the men looked towards the window. There was barely any light except for two flickering flames from the torches hooked in the walls.

The murky hues of mixed facial features danced before his eyes as Shiv tried to work around the mess just caused. He couldn’t immediately recognize them, but the raincoat man was very familiar. But there was no time for analysis. The princess was in danger. He didn’t know if they had recognized Padmavati.

His intuition weighed heavily, and he didn’t think anymore. He quickly pulled Padmavati away from the window, prying her hands away from the bars trying not to call for any more attention.

Instead of protesting, she lost consciousness, and he hoisted her lithe body on his shoulder. He moved away from the place even as he heard footsteps. It would take a while for them to reach him, so he carefully treaded on the slippery stones, his knee throbbing where it had hit him earlier.

He landed on the soft exit, his boots digging into the slush, pain shooting through his leg. But at that moment, nothing mattered. He had to get Padma to safety, and the only place where she would be safe was the palace. It was a long hike, and he didn’t know how to sustain it, given the erratic downpour and the darkness. His backpack was biting into his skin, but he couldn’t leave any traces behind though it didn’t contain anything that linked it to him.

He rushed through the trees, disappearing into the dense growth, tracing back how he had arrived. His lungs burned, and his knees screamed. Yet he continued his sojourn with the sole aim of getting the princess to safety. At the back of his head, he wondered about the funeral arrangements for his father, who was likely to be disowned, but his father wouldn’t have wanted him to shirk this responsibility.

He halted beneath a tree deep into the forest, the palace still a steep hike ahead. He had to gather his energies. Fortunately, the rainwater must have washed his footsteps. He knew by instinct that he wasn’t being followed anymore. He held Padma like a child in his arms as he slid down with his back against the tree trunk. It was pitch dark, and as he settled, he ignored his screaming muscles to turn around to release his backpack and took out the torch. He shone it upon Padma’s face as she lay lost to the world on his lap.

Her beautiful face was a blow to his solar plexus. She was only sixteen, but her beauty was unparalleled. He looked away, berating himself for having such thoughts. He had no right to do so. He reminded himself he was doing his duty towards his father.

Just then, Padma stirred and turned towards him. Her lids were still shut but there was a slight frown on her pale forehead.

“Aai…. Aaai….” She groaned, calling out to her mother.

He wondered how much she would remember. He was sure she wasn’t in her senses completely when she witnessed the gruesome event unfold. For someone who had always lived a sheltered life, this would have been a massive shock to her. She would probably face PTSD for a long time unknown to her.

He instinctively held her closer to comfort her but she snuggled into his broad chest and wrapped her thin arms around his shoulder. He held her further close not wanting to let her go. Though she was covered in mud and her clothes were soiled, her inherent sandalwood fragrance was intact. His heart raced as she dug her face deeper into his rib cage. He placed the torch back into the backpack and rubbed her head till she fell into a deep slumber.

After a few minutes, when he had gathered his wits, he stood up yet again, and unwrapping her hand, he hoisted her back on his shoulder. He was fiercely attracted to Padma and swore aloud at his indiscretion. She was only 16 for crying out loud and way beyond his league.

He had slept around to satiate his physical craving, but nothing satisfied him, so he had abstained from any such contacts for the past year. In addition, he was never emotionally involved with any woman he had slept with before.

He now confirmed his suspicions. He was always attracted strangely towards the princess ever since he had seen her eight years ago. She held a special place in his heart no one could replace.

Of course, it wasn’t physical attraction then. But tonight, as he traversed through the challenging terrain, he realized he was a goner. He didn’t know what love was but what he felt for the princess was something he had never felt for anyone else before.

It was barely dawn as he reached the perimeter and as expected, the palace hounds were not in place; else, there would have been loud barking by now. He strutted painfully towards the wall. The princess had to have found a way to escape the palace confines; otherwise, she wouldn’t have escaped given the tight security. The fact that the palace was still brightly lit meant no one knew the princess was missing.

He knew it was vital that remained like that and no one should know what she had witnessed. It would put her in danger if his father’s last call was to be believed. There was something sinister going on that had cost his father his life and probably the Queen’s too.

He found a hole in the wall part that was slightly zigzagged and instantly knew it was where the princess had her escapade. He dropped his backpack at the entrance and slowly squeezed the princess through the wall, and his heart skipped a beat as she fell with a slight thud. He quickly followed her though the hole wasn’t big enough for him.

Fortunately, Padma had fallen on the flower bed, and he gently lifted her as she remained asleep. As he walked towards the palace garden, he was on high alert. He had only known the princess lived with her parents in the east wing.

Shiv saw a thick flower garden close to a fountain and laid the princess gently on a stone bench nearby. He wanted to drop her into her room, but it would alert security.

As he straightened up, she stirred.

“No… don’t go… don’t leave me please…” she cried in her sleep, and a tear escaped her eye. He wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms, and the intensity of his feelings surprised him. Not wanting to do something he would regret forever he moved away, and eventually, as he squeezed out of the hole in the wall, he felt as if a large chunk of his heart was left behind in the place garden.

As he raced towards the foot of the mountain, he knew what his father meant. He would continue the crusade started by his father.

He couldn’t save the Queen, who didn’t stand a chance against the blow but he would protect the princess with his life till the danger passed. He would get to the bottom of the plot to find out who planned to harm the royal family and why.

No harm shall befall the princess; he promised as he walked towards the nearest bus station. He was already on the phone, finally getting a network. He placed a call to the police and ambulance. They had to know what transpired in the fort.

He blinked back tears and prayed for the departed souls as he walked along the stony path.

The dull cerulean canvas of his life

Never witnessed a moment of bloom

Would there be brightness, the slightest whiff?

Or was he destined to sink into fathomless grief?

©priyagole

Chapter 13

Five years ago

Shiv made it to Koini in the dead of night. He didn’t want anyone to know he was back. He had never seen the place after he had left with his father in a hurry. Eight years had flown in a jiffy…

He slowly made it to his old home that night laden with a backpack containing his meager belongings.

In place of his house stood a dilapidated structure screaming of neglect. The gossamer cobwebs’ silvery strands fluttered as he showed his flashlight around what was once his home. The place wasn’t visited by anyone, let alone claim the property. He knew the villagers were superstitious and didn’t want to visit, fearing his mother’s ghost. After all, she had killed herself. His mother in her death, had saved the house that she hated with every breath. But surprisingly, he didn’t hold a grudge against her. He was devoid of emotions…

The mango grove was no longer there and in place of the mulching carpets of foliage stood a colorless mass of dried and decayed nature, its malodor permeating the air from a distance. It was as if a missile struck the place. He teared up as he missed his grove. It held all his memories. He didn’t miss his parents as he missed his grove.

Immediately his thoughts were filled by his doe-eyed beauty. There was no mention of princess Padmavati anywhere online from the innumerable searches he had done all these years, and he knew it was to protect her from the world.

He sat on the broken steps in the darkness, effortlessly blending with the proliferating shadows in the half moonlight. The gentle night breeze patted his head, and he began to devise a plan of action. First, he would meet his father the next day and gather information. Then, he could find a way to protect the Royals with his contacts.

He didn’t know the emotion he felt for his father, but a strong sense of duty engulfed him. He rested his back against the wall of his old house and rested staring at the landscape spread across his line of vision. Would the princess agree to meet him? How would she look now? Given that the Queen was a beautiful woman, the princess was probably good-looking. Would she remember him from years ago?

He woke up with a jerk at dawn, hearing the rooster. He had a fitful sleep with the usual monsters making their way into his grove, where he hid and ended with the vision of his mother hanging from the ceiling. He placed a hand on his chest to calm himself. He had to cool down. He had to focus on his work right now… yes this was work as well. He had been alone all his life, and even to meet his father now, he had to take up a journey.

Captain Rawat was the only one who knew about his decision.

“Are you sure, Shiv?” Captain Rawat had asked the earlier morning when Shiv was all set to leave the gurukul.

Shiv had only nodded. He rarely spoke. Like his nickname, he preferred being in the shadows, unheard and unobtrusive.

“Shiv, here take this…” Captain Rawat handed a fat brown cover. “…its money. I know you don’t keep credit cards or even a phone, but you will need cash to sustain till you meet your father.”

“I can’t accept this, Captain…” Shiv had protested. But Captain Rawat had held up his hand to silence him.

“…This is a part of the money your father accumulated for you with me. There is a lot more, but the important details are in a locker, and the passcode for the bank deposit locker is with me. Whenever you need it, you can take it. And Shiv…” He patted Shiv’s shoulder. “…Don’t resent your father. Always remember, he has provided backup. ”

Shiv had stopped feeling emotions in the last few years, but his eyes had filled after a long time.

Hearing the birds chirping around him in his old home, Shiv drifted back to the present and patted the thick brown envelope in his backpack. It had 50000/-INR.

He walked for an hour towards the nearest town. The shops were closed as no one in the sleepy town woke up that early or stayed up beyond 8 PM.. He couldn’t afford to lose time anymore.

He walked towards a mobile phone store and picked the shutter lock that had seen better days. It was a piece of cake for him. He had already checked and knew there were no CCTV cameras around. Technology was yet to influence this town.

Using his torch, he quickly scanned the place and picked up three old mobile phones. The smartphone influx hadn’t hit the town yet, though there were myriad options. He chose the ones which were kept post repair. So he knew they were in working condition. The simple townfolk would take a while to register a missing complaint, or they would never do it. He just needed a day and hoped to meet his father at the end of it.

Tomorrow he would be in the palace if all went well. Today was princess Padmavati’s sixteenth birthday, and he hoped to catch a glimpse of his savior all those years ago along with the Queen who had been responsible for his presence on earth!

He quickly made a smooth exit from the store, shutting the half-lifted shutter behind him, and stealthily made it towards the nearest bus station. The place had started to fill, and milk and vegetable vendors were ready to board the earliest bus to the closest city to sell their wares. There were a couple of men with huge baskets filled with live poultry.

He had to get down at the third town and take other vehicles in the direction of the royal province.

The state transport bus rattled on the rugged, craggy state highway making Shiv even winder of the government knew the meaning of the work ‘highway’. Despite his experience of living in substandard places, this was back-breaking. He thought he could have run and reached faster. But he had to save all his energy since he had to trek through the dense woods to reach the palace unseen. He would then analyze the situation and ask for his father. He had memorized the map, and all he had to do was behave according to his nickname.

As per plans, he alighted the bus and covered his face to prevent the accompanying duft of mud from entering his nostrils. He quickly walked towards the diagonally opposite pavement and hitch-hiked a couple of tempos and a truck until he reached the mountain’s foothills, which hoisted the palace.

His heart raced in anticipation of meeting his father and… the princess as he cut through the wild foliage. He began his ascent late afternoon, hoping his attire camouflaged him well. The arboreal breeze whispered the directions he had to take as his training came into use. He could sense the direction of the winds and take the paths with his eyes shut, without banging into any solid objects, a skill he had mastered from childhood. The canopied bouquets of denseness grew in proportion as he scaled the heights literally.

It was dusk when he reached the area directly below the outer perimeter of the palace, and he knew they would be well guarded. He could blend and hide from everyone but the palace hounds and their strong sense of smell.

He looked around, and on a nearby hill, he could see the fort’s dilapidated but proud outer ruins. It started to drizzle, and he knew that it would pour heavily from the petrichor earthy fragrance. These regions received rainfall suddenly, and before the arrangements were made to arrange cover, the sun would smile brightly once again.

He decided to take a detour to the fort and wait for the grand celebrations in the palace to be over, following which the security would be weaned a bit. Then, his father too would retire for the night, and his chances of meeting up with his old man would be greater.

He was soaked to the skin by the time he reached the approach road to the fort. It was dark and he liked it like that. He thought of resting and munching the last of his energy bars. The rainwater had refreshed him and he was glad he had a waterproof backpack to keep his contents dry. He would change into one of the two pairs of additional clothing he had got along.

He used his pen torch to see the pathway. The fort screamed of neglect, and the dense growth around wasn’t a surprise. He didn’t want to be surprised by nocturnal attacks whatsoever and was trying to look around when his eyes fell on something peeping out of the nearby bushes.

Curiosity got the better of him as he crouched ahead and it was… a car. An ambassador model with a blue beacon. There was a Maa Bhavani sticker on rear window, which meant only one thing. It belonged to the Royal family. But what was the car doing here? He touched it, and it was warm and dirty, which meant it was recently placed here and dirtied by the slush.

Innumerable possibilities gathered in his mind as he made his way towards the fort entrance. He had to be careful because of the loose stones that could result in him falling and breaking his neck, and no one would know about him.

Right then it began to pour again, and he saw yet another something in white. Was that a cloth? He couldn’t make out in the blurring vision. Except that ‘something’ was moving inside the fort. It was then he realized there was a slight glow coming from the depths of the fort.

He was on high alert as he crouched ahead. It was then he heard some noises. As if people were moving together. Who would be visiting this wreck in this downpour?

Something was just not right. His leg hit a jutting rock, and mother of all pains seared through his body. Holding back a whimper, he made it up to the level from where he thought he heard the noises.

He thought he was dreaming but there stood a shivering Padmavati dressed in a white silk gown ruined by slush and torn.

Despite everything, she was breathtakingly beautiful, but at the moment, the look on her face was as if she had seen a ghost. He moved closer, but she seemed lost to the world as she stared wide-eyed through an arched window.

He closed the distance and peeped from the next window only to see a group of men gathered around a woman bound and lying on the floor. She was injured… she was… the Queen. And right across he saw another battered human tied and the man’s limbs were bent at weird angles. From what he knew, that would have to pain like hell but that man lay still.

His heart skipped a beat as he realized the man was dead…and recognition dawned in slowly.

It was his father.

©priyagole

Chapter 12

Shiv was woken from a fitful sleep by a shove the following morning, making him fall off the cot on the hard floor. Then, before he could get his bearings, he was jerked upright.

“Come on, pack up whatever you want. We have to move in ten minutes…” His father’s gruff voice echoed in the sparsely furnished room. The outer door was shut, and the room was dimly lit. Shiv was disoriented. Was he still dreaming? No, the burning bruise on his knees where he had just fallen was proof that he wasn’t.

He was stunned into silence and only glared at his father, who strew around the meager stuff lying in the house. Then, he picked up Shiv’s school bag, the only sturdy material in the house, and filled it with his few clothes.

Before Shiv could even fathom what was going on or ask his father, the latter dragged him by the arm outside to a waiting car. His father threw his bag into the back seat. Then shoving Shiv in the passenger seat, he got into the driver’s seat and swerved the car away. Shiv only stared at the blowing dust in the side mirror while the only house he had ever known became a speck till it completely disappeared.

“Pa.. papa.. where are you taking me?” He finally managed to utter.

His father maintained a stoic silence but kept driving, his eyes not wavering from the road ahead. The man looked tired as well. In the two years that Shiv hadn’t seen him, his father had aged. The greys in his temple, the additional wrinkles on his face, and wait… Shiv saw scratches on his father’s hands where the shirt sleeves were rolled up, and Shiv’s keen eyes didn’t miss the slight purplish tinge on the knuckles.

His father just handed over a chocolate bar, and Shiv ate it, not realizing he was voraciously hungry. He knew his father would speak whenever the time was right, and he had no option but to wait. He rested his head back on the seat as sleep claimed his tired body.

He woke up when the car came to a halt. They were outside a large gate. It was a school… an army prep school of some sort. His father got out and took his bag from the back seat where he had thrown it earlier. Shiv realized they had been on the road for the last eight hours. His stomach growled in hunger. He hadn’t eaten for a long time now. And it was dusk…

The gates opened when his father spoke something on the attached security system, and the duo walked inside. Shiv was transported to an all-new world. In the sanguine halo of the evening light, the bushes filled with varieties of flowers glowed, reflecting a strange aura of freshness, and the trees swayed gently in the breeze. Groups of children across age groups were running around, adding to the cacophony of the avian mates flying back to their nests. Shiva loved this scenario as it reminded him of his favorite mango grove. His eyes filled thinking about the neglect of his grove….

A loud metallic bong sounded, and the children rushed to one of the many cottage-like structures. His father led the way to an adjoining building, one of the two three-storeyed buildings.

They entered an office, and Shiv read, it was a residential school belonging to the Army Welfare Association, and he was somewhere near the Matheran hills. To his surprise, he was relieved to escape the rut back home.

He waited outside the office till his father spoke with the concerned authorities. He looked at the spotless white walls on the ground level, occasionally interrupted by paintings involving children in various physical activities. There was a wall filled with affirmations.

A moment later, Shiv was called inside the office. A tall, middle-aged man with broad shoulders dressed in a white full-sleeved shirt and crisp black trousers was standing next to his father. His fitness screamed from the contouring within the clothes. He walked towards Shiva and placed his hand on his head.

“Welcome to the Sainik gurukul Shiv. I hope you learn and grow to become a responsible citizen of the country….” The deep voice vibrated through his lean body, and Shiv only stared at the man in amazement as he continued. “…Your dorm shall be allotted to you, and you shall start schooling from Monday. Take a day to get acclimatized with the rules here.”

Shiv nodded, and his father signed some papers.

He walked out with his father, and something told him this was the last time he saw his old man.

His father placed a hand on his thin shoulders.

“My child, I am sorry that your mother and I haven’t been the best of parents to you. I hope someday you will be able to forgive us. But, son, don’t keep hatred in your heart; it will only weigh you down. The world is now open to you. I hope you fulfill your dreams, and this place here is the first step. There is only one thing I would wish you keep in mind….”

His father sighed and looked at the now dark sky filled with stars spread like diamonds glittering in pride. Then, he looked back at Shiv with moisture shining in his eyes, for the first time since Shiv had known.

“My dear son, you are my pride. I could never have a better son than you… It’s just that I have bequeathed my life to the royal family. Particularly the Queen. The King and the Queen helped me complete my studies, and when I ran from home, they supported my decisions. Whatever I have achieved is because of them. I would have been dead in the garb of honour if not for their indirect interference. You don’t know, but your mother had a tough time during labour and the Queen, a doctor, saved her. You were born premature and had slim chances of survival. Your mother was fragile and malnourished as well… But the Queen saved you both. The great woman sat through nights and took care of you in particular. She knew my reasons for staying away from the family and respected it though she wanted you to live in the quarters. I am currently on a vital mission for the Queen, and it’s dangerous. That is the reason I have been hiding you and your mother. Shiv, I want you to stay hidden and achieve your dreams. My life’s mission is to protect the Queena and the little princess. I shall send money to the principal, Captain Rawat whom we just met… May Lord Shiva and Maa Bhavani bless you, my child…” His father gripped his shoulders and suddenly dropped his hands, walking away in long strides.

Shiva stared at his father’s retreating back as tears rolled down his cheeks, instantly chilling him in the evening breeze as he watched the car fade away into the distance.

He felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, my boy; you must be hungry. Join us for dinner.” Captain Rawat smiled and led him to the mess.

Later that night, as he lay in his dorm, he shared with two other boys of his age; he couldn’t sleep despite being deprived for long. His life to date flashed before his eyes. He realized he didn’t have much to miss in his old life, except for his mango groves and the little girl with the most beautiful expressive eyes brimming with innocence. Would he ever meet her again? Would his father be meeting her in his line of work?

He reminisced his father’s departing words, and realization dawned. The Queen may have saved him during birth but the little princess, in her innocence, saved him from taking extreme steps or drowning in grief.

The next few years were spent completing his studies, and after his twelfth grade, he enlisted for training while simultaneously completing his graduation. His roommates and now his best friends Avinash Thakur and Maanav Deshmukh followed suit. Along with Avinash’s twin sister Anandi, they were directly recruited for ground duty after graduation. They made it a point to meet in the Sainik gurukul whenever they took a break.

A couple of years later, the trio was selected for special missions based on their unique skills. All three were well versed in combat, but Shiv was an expert in ‘shadowing’ and got the nickname ‘Shadow’ for his missions. Avinash was a martial arts expert with razor speed moves and received the nickname ‘Razor’. At the same time, Maanav specialized in firearms and received the nickname ‘Bullet.’ Anandi was a femme fatale but lethal with combat and got the nickname ‘Lolita’.

Their initial training, along with other selected candidates, mirrored the US SEALS. 90% of the recruits gave up in the first couple of months. But the four of them persisted and were now established in their area of expertise. Though they were placed in different missions and once in a while together, they often kept in touch via specialized untraceable accounts, and each knew the other had their back.

As ‘Shadow’ he conducted stealth operations and spied for the government where regular legal channels didn’t tread. He soon polished his skills, and since there was nowhere he could return during holidays, he worked throughout the year. He had fulfilled his dream, rather a part of it. Most of the time, he was engaged in combat or planning as per instructions from his superiors. Still, occasionally, when he was idle during the slack period, he remembered his angel…

When he was around 23 years old, his father called him one day in the Sainik gurukul where he had gone visiting. Though he regularly received money from his father, the man had never spoken to him. Shiv’s instincts screamed at something amiss…

“Shiv, my child…” He felt his father panting. “… something is wrong… drastically wrong. I think I made a grave mistake… an error of judgment.”

“Calm down, papa… tell me what happened.” Shiv tried to find out.

“…My child, the royal family, mainly the Queen and the princess, are in danger… I will lay down my life to protect them, but I think it’s not enough.” He had never heard his father being more frantic.

“But papa, don’t the royals have more manpower?”

“My child, there is something that the Queen has to protect with her life for the princess, and can’t involve outsiders… I can’t tell you everything… but… but promise me something.” His father was now breathing heavily, and for once, he worried about the man.

“What is it?”

“Promise me that whatever happens, you will protect the princess….”

“But papa, even if I go there, why will they recruit me? No one knows about me, do they?”

“My son, I have made the arrangements years ago… in case of my untimely demise, I had thought it would take care of you. But you never needed anything to date… My son, I am proud of you. I know I can trust you… but if you don’t want the responsibility, I will understand. It’s just for some time till the princess is safe… you are free to lead your life. I know I don’t have the right to ask you…”

“…I will do it, papa.” Shiv interrupted. “…I hope you never need me for the reasons mentioned, but I will do it.” He didn’t know why but the urge to protect the princess came up strongly, and the thought tightened in his chest.

“Son…” his father’s voice cracked. “…if something happens, meet up with Captain Rawat. He will guide you on how to reach inside the palace…”

After the call ended, Shiv ran till he was exhausted and fell on the hard mud ground. Something told him he had to be at the royal province. He had to meet his father at least once. Find out what was going on.

He researched a bit and found out it was princess Padmavati’s 16^th birthday bash coming up soon, and he had heard it was an occasion of celebration in the palace. So he was sure this was an excellent opportunity to meet his father.

As he typed his request for a vacation to his reporting officer, he realized meeting his father was an excuse.

He wanted to see princess Padmavati…

©priyagole

#triggeralert #suicidealert

Chapter 11

At fourteen years of age, Shiv knew about the birds and the bees, what was going on, and where the new items at home and those that adorned his mother’s body arrived. It wasn’t rocket science for a guy as intelligent and perceptive as himself.

However, if he pretended to turn a blind eye, the gossip around where he worked part-time or in the fields didn’t let him forget. As a result, his mother was labeled characterless, and the villagers often pitied him. His heart fell at the jibes thrown at his mother, more so in his presence, but there was nothing he could do. However, his mother was the only constant in his life, and he couldn’t afford to antagonize and lose her.

But he knew his mother didn’t sleep around, as was claimed. She wasn’t loyal to her marital vows, but Mujumdar was the only person she had been with. Shiv was sure. But the gossip mill kept going, and he turned a recluse. He gradually lost the minuscule friends he had.

He didn’t eat well enough, and around the same time, his father’s calls to him grew lesser. Then, finally, his father had stopped visiting altogether. Everything took a toll on him, and he was now skinny, and depression engulfed him in its folds.

He had stopped talking to his mother for months now; he came home only to sleep at night and left early the following day. He barely made any money and spent the evenings working in the mango grove. Trees gave him immense satisfaction, and he loved to get lost among them. He loved turning into a shadow and only wished he could stay in the shadows permanently to escape from his problems.

Almost a year later, he was once busy in the mangrove when he heard faint noises in the usually calm environs. So he stayed in the shadows and watched through a gap in the outer perimeter.

His mother stood shaking in anger with a hand on her hip and her hair messed up. She was facing a tall man with his back towards Shiv. But Shiv was sure it was Majumdar.

“How can you just shirk off responsibility like this?” His mother screamed, a rare occurrence when his father wasn’t around.

The man only shrugged and didn’t say anything angering his mother further.

“You son of a bitch, you dare to tell me to get rid of this…?” His mother spoke, touching her belly. “…I ignored all the insults and jibes thrown at me because I thought you reciprocated my feelings. I stayed in the dark because you were married, and your career couldn’t tolerate slanders. But I have had enough…”

“You bitch… I haven’t taken anything for free… On the contrary, I showered you with wealth. Don’t forget you have a husband too.” Majumdar’s deep voice roared, and Shiv shivered in a combination of fear and anger.

“What do you mean? Did you think I was a prostitute? I loved you, goddamn it… I could never love my husband despite having a son from him, and all you can do is shrug when I need you the most?” She was panting now.

“Have you lost it, woman? Do you expect me to leave my family and stay with you? Or take you and that bastard of yours to my bungalow? Are you mad? Stay within your limits. The entire village and the Koini province know the likes of you. How can you even say this is mine?” He bellowed, pointing towards her belly

Shiv had enough. He scrubbed his tears and tiptoed his way back into the central clearing, his perennial hideout till it became dark. The voices continued for a while, waxing and waning, providing him with the staccato of audio he wanted to shut off. He placed his palms on his ears and lay on the muddy ground. The rustle of the trees piercing his senses through his palms lulled him to sleep.

He woke up with a start and realized it was well into the night. His father had warned him never to get close to trees in the dark. So he gathered the mangoes dropped around earlier in the evening into his basket and covered it with straws so they could ripen. He would sell it tomorrow in the village market and get him food for a couple of days. From what he had witnessed, his mother would not be in a mood to cook anyway.

Stretching his lean body, he walked outside the grove towards his house. The grandfather’s clock that was forever on the uneven outside wall chimed 3 AM. Something felt odd…

His mother didn’t call out to him even though it was so late. Despite everything, she was always keen on getting him inside the house and shutting the main door every night. Not that they had anything valuable to steal, but she was particular about shutting the door at night.

Tonight she hadn’t come looking for him; neither was the door closed. But, though the outside lights were switched on, something didn’t sit right. So he sauntered towards the house and crossed its thresholds. The light inside was switched off. Was his mother sleeping already?

Impossible…

His hand touched the adjacent wall as he tried to feel the switchboard. Finding it, he switched on the light bulb even as the room was lit up in the yellow glow of the bulb, blinding him with its hues. He shut his lids and slowly opened his eyes… only to see his mother hanging from the ceiling, her saree tied like a noose around her neck.

The grotesque image before him stunned him to the core. He screamed as he tried to grab her legs, but nothing happened. He ran out screaming hoarse into the village and banged the doors. Some sympathetic villagers soon accompanied him along with the village doctor, irritated at being woken up at the ungodly hour.

His mother was taken down and made to lie on the floor. Then, after the doctor certified her dead and the lone police constable in the dead of night cleared it as a case of suicide, the couple of women covered his mother’s body.

Despite all that transpired, young Shiv didn’t shed tears. He didn’t know what he felt. He went through the motions on autopilot.

Slowly the other villagers gathered in the little courtyard where the body was placed on a hearse and his mother’s face; the only body part visible was smeared with ‘Sindoor.’ He realized his mother was so beautiful… but tears refused to flow.

He only wished his father could come… to perform the rituals as some villagers spoke. He wanted someone other than him to do the honors. He couldn’t get himself to cremate his mother.

But still, tears didn’t fall. Had his heart turned into a stone? It probably had. He was emotionless… there was no guilt, too, now that the initial shock had waned.

He was a horrible son, not good enough for his mother or father. While his father had left him earlier, his mother needed others in her life for a void he couldn’t fill. Was it all his fault?

His mother had once said she was stuck in the marriage with his father because Shiv existed. Though she later hugged him and prepared his favorite food, her words never left his mind. In the vee hours of the morning, as he sat staring at his mother’s mortal remains, the white cloth covering her cascading with ripples in the early morning breeze, he wondered if he was indeed cursed.

There were hushed whispers about him being the curse for his family. Did calamity befall on anyone he was associated with?

He sat still on the hard ground with a few villagers watching over his mother even as people trickled in and left after paying their respects, more like curious about the outcast woman who had killed herself. People talked about the funeral, and he couldn’t hold it anymore. He ran into the grove, and the clearing sucked him into its bosom as he sat holding his folded legs close to his body, hunger and thirst forgotten. He stared at the mango basket. What would happen to him? What would happen to this grove?

Suddenly the emotions that were held at bay surfaced upwards… he was officially all alone in this world. He craved company and only lost everyone in his life. Maybe he was destined to be alone.

He began to sob but soon recovered when he realized he wasn’t crying for his dead mother. How could he be so selfish and only be bothered by his loneliness when his mother lay dead waiting to begin her final journey?

Right then, little Padma had stepped into the clearing, and her kiddish banter had made its way into his heart. Something about the cherubic angel with missing upper incisors brought out an emotion he didn’t know existed in his heart. It was as if the stone within began to melt. Someone had shown him genuine kindness for the first time.

He later found out the Queen had come, and she had made the funeral arrangements through the NGO she ran. He was glad he didn’t have to go through the motions.

He spent a night in his house on the rickety charpoy, unable to shut the doors and staring at the oil lamp lit in memory of his mother. Some villagers had sent him food that remained untouched in a corner. He had only eaten a couple of mangoes, and his mother’s blurring face in his mind was soon replaced by the angelic face of the little girl who sought his sorry self… till sleep claimed him.

The gleaming sparkle of her eyes cleared the darkness that bequeathed me

The shower of blessings drove away emotional drought making my heart tidy….

©priyagole

Chapter 10

After shutting the door, Shiv Ranjan Chouhan, alias ‘Shadow’, walked out of the infirmary and took his place right outside. He let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding. The beautiful, inquisitive doe eyes belonging to the only woman who had stolen his heart had hunted his dreams. And he had to be face to face with her… He didn’t know it would be so difficult for him, the mighty Shadow known for his self-control.

He didn’t know he had a heart until he was fourteen and till little Padma had innocently made her foray into its chambers. He still remembered the day in the mango grove as clear as yesterday.

Born to an absentee father, he had craved his father’s attention growing up. His father Abir Kumar Chauhan had migrated to Koini and settled on a piece of land bordering Koini and the province ruled by King WamanRao Raje. He had barely been a baby then. His father had run away from Lucknow to escape the Zamindar system he belonged to. Abir Chauhan considered himself a warrior and wanted to serve the royals. He was well versed with the use of firearms and a top-notch fighter. He was trained briefly along with WamanRao Raje and had since sworn loyalty to the would-be King.

Once he settled in Koini, Abir Chauhan soon got a call and joined the security detail of the palace. He prevented a major tragedy involving the little princess a few years later. He further caught the eye of the King, who trusted him more than life itself and was soon promoted to serve in the security detail of the King’s unit. The following year he was transferred to serve the Queen and was quickly her driver cum personal bodyguard.

While this promotion brought in a lot of fame and money to the Chauhan, Shiv Ranjan missed his father. The man was rarely home and held his money with a tight fist.

His father’s memories were of a bearded man who played with him whenever he came home in his childhood.

Shiv often heard his parents fight whenever his father visited them. Initially, he couldn’t figure out the reason for the fights, but later on, he realized it was all about money and a little more….

“Why don’t you give me more money…?” His mother would ask.

“Rati, I am saving it all for our Shiv and his future…” his father would argue.

“Then, what about my life? Don’t I have any needs? Because of your job with the royals, we live in this secluded location. We can’t go to the province as you don’t want anyone to know about us…”

“…that will put you and Shiv in danger, and I have to do my work as a bodyguard diligently without worrying about you two. It’s a dangerous world out there, Rati.” His father explained.

“Why don’t I move back to Ghaziabad? With my parents? At least I won’t have to be lonely.”

“Rati, you knew this is what I wanted even before we eloped. I had warned you about this life… My position in the Royal household is of utmost importance. I am constantly on the move. Only the Queen knows about your existence. If anyone else gets wind of you two… your relationship with me, they may use it as leverage against me, which may cost the Royal family their lives. I can’t take the risk, nor can I put you both in danger…”

“Then let loose your purse strings. I want to live a life of luxury. I want to dress well, dress up Shiv, send him to the best school…”

“I am saving money for Shiv… But, given my line of work, it won’t be long before I have to retire, if not lose my life in the line of duty. What will happen to Shiv then? So, I am saving up, so he receives a good education and a good and comfortable life.”

His mother would only sulk till his father left again,

His father taught him martial arts and fighting techniques, but the best gift he got from his father was the technique to blend well in his surroundings without anyone knowing about his existence. His father taught him the importance of staying low and observing every detail in his surrounding.

You will be consumed by your light and glow

Provided you self-search and nurture your shadow…

Little Shiv had always wanted to grow up and join the Army, a dream that his mother hated but his father encouraged.

“You have something unique about you, Shiv; you are born to achieve greater heights. You are Lord Mahadev’s blessing to us all.” So his father would always say.

His mother loved him in her way. She didn’t talk much, just went about the daily chores at home while he attended the local Gram Panchayat school. The school was in name only and attended by only those who couldn’t afford to school. She didn’t cook much, but whatever she did, he would wait for her to pamper him and coax him to eat. He loved Diwali for the brightness and because his mother would often dress well and dress him up in his favorite blue Kurta; his papa had got him once.

He remembered a particular Diwali where she had got him sparklers, which was the first and the last Diwali he had celebrated with his mother. For years after that, he had longed to celebrate the festival but didn’t bother to ask his parents about it. Instead, he joined his school friends in lighting oil lamps and an occasional firework donated by some or the other political bigwig…

The mid-day meal scheme offered by the government was a significant attraction to those who attended here. Though his mother prepared something every day, Shiv loved to eat in school and the company of his friends. Moreover, most children were sons of local laborers or farmers, primarily daily wagers. So no one bothered about why such a well-built kid attended a school with a building with a roof that leaked torrentially along with the rain every monsoon.

His dark skin tone and simple clothes didn’t make him stand apart eventually, and he was glad because his father would approve of it.

One day, when he was around twelve, he came home early from school in the afternoon since he was down with a fever, a rare occurrence. The entrance to his house was open, and he was surprised. His mother usually had her nap in the afternoon. His house wasn’t very big or attractive as per his father’s wishes, so it didn’t call for attention. It was on a tiny hill away from the nearest village, and the land was barren.

His father had somehow managed to get them a constant water supply through his contacts and influence in the palace via the government scheme. They now had an initially small mango grove, but Shiv too had taken over the care of the place, and the grove had grown. He often got his school friends who weren’t working in the fields, and they worked on the grove. Some trees had yielded fruit recently, and he had distributed most of the fruit to his friends.

That afternoon he walked into a silent home. Where was his mother? He was burning with fever, and his head pounded. The only place that gave him solace was the mango grove. He walked in there, hoping to lie in the shade when he heard some chuckles and giggles.

Keeping up with his training in stealth, he walked without a sound to a clearing in the middle of the grove and was shocked to the core. His mother lay on a thatched mat with another man. Her saree was strewn at the side while she held the man’s face, constantly kissing him. With his paunch hanging out of his briefs, the man hugged her too, digging his head into her shoulder.

Shiv lost focus given his health, and at the sound of the twig cracking, the couple moved apart. His mother was wide-eyed, and she rushed to cover herself with the discarded saree. The man sat up too and pulled his clothes together.

His mother rushed to him and held his shoulders.

“What are you doing here, Shiv?” She asked, still panting.

Shiv was a child, but he knew whatever was happening wasn’t right. So he didn’t say a word.

The man stood up and rubbed his huge belly. As he dressed, his handlebar mustache struck Shiv along with the red tilak on his sweaty forehead. Who was this man? He looked familiar.

“Shiv…” his mother spoke. “… touch Saheb’s feet and take his blessings.” She indicated to the large man still adjusting her saree she had worn hurridly.

Shiv stood still glaring at the man, anger rising in his little body.

“Rati, your son is very stubborn. It would help if you taught him some manners.” He dusted his clothes and walked out of the grove.

His mother dragged him out of the grove to their house and pushed him to the bed. Then, placing her hands on her hips, she stared at him, fire blazing in her eyes.

“Do you know who that man was?” She asked, clenching her teeth.

“No maa… But he wasn’t papa.” Shiv back answered for the first time. The slap across his face caused him to fall back on the bed with a thud.

“How dare you say that, Shiv? You know nothing about all this. I have given up so much for you and your father; you will never understand. You are just like your father. If you ever say a word about this to your father, I shall leave you forever.” His mother threatened him.

That was Shiv’s greatest fear. While all his friends feared drought, hunger, and poverty, he feared loneliness. He couldn’t lose his mother… So he would keep his silence. He went to bed hungry that night, and miraculously, his fever had broken.

He was a changed boy from that day on and decided not to rely on his mother anymore.

Shiv often returned home to find the same man leaving the house. At times the man patted his head or pretended Shiv didn’t exist. However, his mother wore beautiful sarees and got new clothes. Something about that man, however, didn’t feel right.

Two years passed, and Shiv somewhat knew what happened in the grove that day and now blatantly in his house. However, he didn’t hold it against his mother since she was happy, which meant she wouldn’t need him around or keep tabs on him, not that she did anyway. So he was glad to be left alone.

It was a summer when he had just turned fourteen, and the school ground was abuzz with something they all said election rally. He was one of the volunteers. He had lost weight and had become skinny and lean. He stayed away from home as much as possible, helping around the fields with his friends. The hard labor made him strong, and he kept up with his martial arts practice from whatever his father had taught him.

Just a year more, and he could escape this place. His father had arranged everything for him. At times he wondered if his father knew about his mother’s indiscretions. But his father too rarely came home, Shiv counted three times in the last two years.

Instead, his father called him occasionally at school or whenever he volunteered at the post office.

That evening the dignitaries sat on the dais, and the Sarpanch announced.

“We welcome the young and dynamic leader of the Kalyankar party, the son of this soil, and future MLA, Shri Rajendrabhau Majumdar. Everyone, please give him a round of applause…”

Shiv pried away from his eyes from the swelling crowd and looked upon the dais. His heart skipped a beat. It was the man from the numerous posters around the village. The man being honored was the one who frequented his home… the one who had an affair with his mother.

©priyagole

Chapter 9

The solid antiseptic redolence wafted through her olfactories, jarring her from some deep sleep she had after ages. Padma stirred and tried to open her heavy lids. Her left shoulder throbbed, and the excruciation reminded her of what transpired.

Her coronation, the sense of being watched, the hit on her shoulder, followed by being carried away, all rushed back to her. She finally opened her eyes to the pristine white ceiling. She knew she was in the palace infirmary. She looked around the movement of her neck causing pain, and she gasped. There was movement at Aarti rushed towards her.

“Padma… oh my God… Are you alright? We were so scared… all that blood, noise…”

“Padma, is it paining?” Keshav spoke on her other side.

Where was her father?

Aarti helped her sit up a bit on the inclined bed while the royal physician checked her vitals. Padma looked towards the door to see two security guards standing outside, and by the murmurs, she knew there were more. Her room would now be a fortress, she sighed, thinking about the new sanctions on her freedom. Frustration caused her eyes to fill. She had enough… who wanted her dead? And why?

Aarti held her as she cried. Keshav patted her head, and she was grateful for these blessings. At least she had these two with her, the only constants in her life. Her father stayed away whenever she was hurt or needed him ever since her mother had passed.

Suddenly there was some movement outside, and a guard whom she knew to be her father’s closest security personnel walked in, indicating everyone else to clear the room. Aarti, Keshav, Padma’s special attendant Seema assigned to her a  couple of years ago all left the room with the doctor and the nurses.

Within a minute, the King entered the room. Her heart fell, as she saw his haggard profile. It looked like he had suddenly aged in a day. He was still in the special robes he had worn for her coronation. The beautiful silk was now creased, and she even saw a tear at the seams. What was he doing? Padma felt remorse creep up her spine as she wondered about the multitude of duties her father had to perform while she constantly expected his attention.

His guards left the room, shutting the door, and they were alone.

“Baba…?” She wondered what was happening.

Her father held up his hand, and she could see the tremors in them. He must have been so worried…

“Padma, my child…” He began, fatigue evident in his voice. “…Given the dire circumstances. I have decided something for you.”

“Baba… what is it? Did you catch the shooter? It was a gunshot, right?” She was desperate for answers fiddling with the green hospital gown she was wearing.

The King sighed as he sat on the chair next to her bed. He held her hand that didn’t have the IV.

“Padma, your life is something I cannot compromise anything with. You… my child, are far too important to me than anything else. Be it this legacy or wealth… everything pales in comparison…” She heard his voice crack even as emotions engulfed her. “…Padma, my child, my angel, you are my everything. Just remember, whatever I have decided is for your good… So please trust me OK?”

“What is going on, baba? You are scaring me…” She tried

He stood and walked towards the lone window of the room. She saw his clothes were loose-fitting. When had he lost so much weight?

He put his hand in his trouser pocket and removed a plastic ziplock pouch. It held a crumpled letter. Bringing it closer, he held it up in her view.

Her heart stilled as a chill crept up her spine.

‘THE NEXT BULLET WILL NOT MISS THE HEART. GIVE UP THE CROWN.’

The alphabets were distorted and not from the same typewriter. Instead, they were cut from different places and clubbed together to form a sentence like a linear collage.

Padma stared at it, both angry and filled with fear. She barely had powers as a queen even when she took over the reins, and there was still time. So why was the person after her? She had to talk to Keshav and get to the bottom of this, whether her father liked it or not.

As if hearing her thoughts, her father spoke.

“I am not taking any more chances…”

“..So now what? A house arrest?” She knew she sounded sarcastic and rude. But the throbbing in her shoulder, accompanied by frustration surrounding everything that had transpired in the past five years, was getting to her.

Her father stared at her.

“Padma, don’t think I don’t know about your… activities. I am not a King just in name. I am a warrior before everything else and have a keen foresight. Just because I haven’t been there in person doesn’t mean I don’t know what’s up with you.” His stern voice was back.

Padma’s heart raced… did he know about her night rendezvous?

“Padma, my child, I will be… gone away often now on. I have to work on stuff… Not many know about the plans. A handful of select ministers from the royal cabinet and Keshav’s father Devraj Chitnis from the treasury will be in charge of the administrative duties till then. Keshav will be going about his duties as well. I have been training him to take over alongside you when you become the queen. He will be a strong support to you Padma…” Her father looked away and sighed.

What on earth was he talking about? She was stunned to silence.

“Padma…” He continued. “…there is one more thing. I have assigned a… bodyguard for you.”

“But … I already have so many guards around me…”

“…Listen to me, child…” Her father held up his hand, irritated at being interrupted. “… I am not arguing on this point. This guard will stay with you 24/7 and accompany you on all your… er… adventures. I am not restricting anything, but until I get the perps responsible for the dishevel in our lives, I can’t let my guard down.”

Oh no… this wasn’t good news. Padma shook her head….

“This bodyguard…” her father continued. “…is a special one. He came well recommended, and I trust him with you. He is here right now…”

“…but baba…” She tried to speak, ignoring the pain in her shoulder.

“…he will be your Shadow, and you won’t even know he is there. Only Seema and Aarti will be allowed into your room to accompany you anywhere you wish to go. I am aware you want to pursue your B.Ed program and for that, you will have to visit schools too. But a large group of guards will call for attention, so it’s just this person. He is equivalent to many and very good at his work. He saved you last night….”

The rest of his words faded away, and Padma’s heart fluttered. She wanted to scream and make it known that it probably wasn’t the first time that man had saved her… But at that moment, she only had to get control over her breathing. Instead, a gush of emotions threatened to drown her into their depths.

Her father walked to the door and rapped upon it. The doors opened, and she felt him before she looked up.

A tall, dark, well-built, muscular guy in a hoodie walked in and bowed to her father. Her father nodded and gestured towards her.

“Padma, meet ‘shadow’ your new bodyguard.”

The man turned towards her, and her heart stopped a beat. The black orbs that had inhabited her dreams that had been the source of her strength and calm stared right back at her.

The world faded away as a soft tuft of vanilla fragrance made its gentle way into her nostrils, and she had to grip her bedsheet to get a hold of her emotions. He was far more handsome and rugged with his beard and slightly disheveled look. Her heart picked up a pace she couldn’t control.

He bowed, turning towards her.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, princess. ‘Shadow’ at your service.” The baritone sent shivers down her spine, and she only slightly nodded as she looked down at her bedsheet.

Her father came towards her.

“Padma, I probably won’t be seeing you for a while, so please listen to ‘Shadow’ and do as he says. I trust his judgment when it comes to your safety….” He then looked at ‘Shadow’ and continued. “…and ‘Shadow,’ I leave her in your able hands. I… I …” he looked away, and Padma thought she saw the moisture in his eyes. She hadn’t seen him cry even when the queen had passed.

“Don’t worry, your Highness…” Shadow spoke. “…I shall protect the princess with my life if necessary…”

The King turned towards the man and held his shoulders. The King was a tall man, but Shadow was taller, so his hands were raised, covering Shadow’s broad shoulders.

“I trust you, my man, but you have to be alive to protect her. So stay well so she will live too…” the King spoke, and Padma blinked back tears. Why did it feel that this was some farewell?

Shadow nodded, and the King walked away without a backward glance.

Shadow walked around the room, checked the walls, and touched the switches as if he was investigating her surroundings. Padma saw he was dressed in a figure-hugging black T-shirt that left nothing to the imagination about what was underneath. The loose trousers too fluttered loosely close to his toned glutes, occasionally as a second skin, and Padma looked away as she felt heat rise her cheeks.

She mentally scolded herself… her life was in danger, and all she was interested in was how hot her bodyguard looked.

“Princess, tomorrow morning, you will move back to your room. I have checked it already, and it’s clear. Seema will bring you everything you need for a week till you recuperate. After that, you can venture anywhere you want, and I shall accompany you. Here…” he handed her a phone., wait,,, it was her phone. How did he have it? “…This phone now has a tracker so I would know where you are at any given time. I can monitor your calls…”

“…Wait, hold on…” She interrupted him. “…why? Isn’t this a breach of privacy? Can’t I even speak to anyone without you hovering over my head…?”

“With due respect, princess, your life is in danger, and I promise you I will never invade your space. True to my name, I will remain in the shadows, and you wouldn’t even know. Is there anything you would like to ask? Else I shall take your leave. I will be right outside…”

“…Just one question.” She said softly and looked up at him. “…it was you, wasn’t it?”

“I beg your pardon, princess?” His solid rectangular face with a well-set jaw held no expression.

“three years ago… on my 18^th birthday night at that club and later at the temple… you saved me, didn’t you?”

Shadow didn’t answer. Instead, he bowed slightly.

“I will be right outside, princess, and your new watch has a tiny sensor. If you press on the dial, I will be alerted of danger. Also, your phone has me on speed dial number 1….” He nodded again and walked out of the door.

It was then Padma released the breath she had been holding, and she looked at the watch she didn’t know rested on her wrist!

©priyagole