Chapter 15

Shiv stared at the crescent moon as he lay on the bunk bed in the gurukul. He hadn’t slept a wink for over 24 hours now, but sleep was miles away.

His heart was heavy. Emotions swirled inside, and suddenly, he jerked out of bed and rushed to the washroom. He hadn’t eaten for hours, but dry heaved and sat in the lonely bathroom with his back against the tiles and the darkness for company. As the water drops from the tap made their way into the half-filled bucket, the sound, usually redundant, that night, got amplified in his head.

He grabbed his hair in his hands and wailed. He hadn’t cried after that bout in the groves when his mother had died. Even tonight, it wasn’t about his father’s death alone. Yes, he was upset and remorseful. What if he had reached early? Could he have saved his father and the Queen? In that case, maybe the princess would have been in danger.

Princess Padmavati….

The poor girl had seen her mother getting killed but was so shocked that she had moved everything back to her subconsciousness. He knew PTSD was a bitch and hoped that she could get the needed treatment, or at least no one would ever know what she had witnessed. He knew since the Queen was involved, there would be an investigation done.

He had two more years for his mandatory stint in the Army special unit, after which he could choose to continue or resign. He had always thought of serving the country in every capacity till his last breath. However, he was a goner ever since he laid his eyes on Padma and held her soft body in his contrasting hard muscular arms.

There was a huge protective instinct that refused to leave him ever since he saw the princess. For the first time in his life, he wanted to hang on to something. Rather… someone. He had long ago learned not to trust anyone to remain in his life. His father had actually left ages ago when he had abandoned them, and after his mother left too, Shiv hadn’t expected anything in life. But his friends in gurukul and the Army changed that for him.

However, he longed for someone to call his own… and seeing the princess last night infused life into his heart’s dying embers. He wanted nothing more than to find the perpetrators responsible for his father’s and the Queen’s death. Through Captain Rawat’s connections, he had found out that the Queen was no more. The King had claimed both the bodies, and he knew his father would have wanted to keep their relationship a secret. Else the King would have called for him.

Shiv rubbed his face, his hand halting in his beard. Would the princess remember him? He wanted to rush back to the palace and check on her. He was attracted to her as well but reigned in those thoughts. His feelings for her were beyond physical… there was some soul connection. He had often thought he didn’t have a soul and was going through the motions of life without emotions.

Would he ever meet her again? He was to leave for duty tomorrow to someplace in Assam. The Army had been called to fend off the Ultras and protect the civilians from anticipated unrest. For the first time, he was worried if something happened to him. Who would protect his princess?

‘HIS…?’ Now, where did that thought come from? The princess did not belong to him. And why would she need his protection when she had a vast entourage protecting her? But, in that case, why did his father feel otherwise? There were too many questions and no answers.

He had to protect himself first and complete his tenure. Two years was long, and he wished they would pass soon.

He strutted back into the bed and called his friends. He knew ungodly hours didn’t matter to them. Finally, after an hour, it was settled. Each would take turns to arrange to watch over the palace in the upcoming two years. They had other contacts, too, who pledged to help if any of them had an emergency. It was decided, they wouldn’t act unless needed. Shiv decided, come what may, he would drop everything and reach the palace if the need arose.

In another hour, they arranged backups looping in their friends from the Army spread across the country. Once satisfied with the arrangements, Shiv released the breath he didn’t know he held. Gradually sleep claimed him.

The following two years couldn’t have passed slower.

Shiv was involved with classified missions and was without contact from his friends’ loop for days. But whenever possible, he made it a point to connect with them. The princess was safe, and things at the palace were uneventful so far. The King had converted the place into a fortress. Shiv was glad because it would keep the princess safe. He hoped that hole in the wall was sealed too. It was difficult for his ‘eyes’ to reach the spot, and he didn’t want to call for attention on his comrades and their associates.

Finally, at the end of two years, he called off the arrangements for keeping watch on the palace.

He now was on official leave and would take over the reins of watching over the princess on his own. But he also knew how to do it…

That night he lay on his bunk bed in the gurukul. He had just returned a couple of hours earlier and was to leave for the palace at dawn. Captain Rawat asked to meet him to discuss his father’s wishes, but Shiv wanted first to see the princess in person. He had to confirm for himself that she was safe.

He smiled. Tomorrow was her eighteenth birthday, exactly two years since he had last seen her, and he hoped he would see her in better circumstances.

He had also found that the Queen’s and his father’s murderers weren’t found as yet. Despite being a King the man couldn’t bring his wife’s killer to justice, which meant the plot was far more sinister than what he had thought. First, he had to find out what his father was up to. Only then could he work to keep the princess safe. He didn’t deserve her at all… but if the threat to her life was removed for good, he could rest assured.

The next day at dawn, Shiv dressed in his standard black overalls, figure-hugging clothes. He had to stick to his name ‘shadow’. He sprinkled a tinge of the Vanilla hues. In his work line, it wasn’t allowed as it would give away his location, and he hadn’t bothered about vanity so far. But princess Padmavati brought out the zeal to live in him, and he felt a slight tinge wouldn’t matter. He was getting amidst civilians after all…

He realized he was smiling as his reflection in the tiny square mirror smiled back at him!

He was told there would be a bash in the palace today after two years, and the King was expected to make a special announcement.

Another aspect and worry plagued his conscience. He hadn’t figured out who that man in the raincoat was from two years ago. The fact that the man hadn’t made a move meant he didn’t get a chance so far, given the tight security. But Shiv’s gut feeling said, the man may make some attempt to harm the princess tonight. That’s how the criminal mind functioned. Besides, the princess had probably seen it better than Shiv, given her line of vision that night, but he wasn’t sure if she had revealed it all to anyone.

There was no uproar, but it put her in danger… grave danger.

He reached the foothills of the mountain later in the evening and soon blended into the overgrowth. It was dark by the time he reached the palace boundary, and as he expected, the hole in the wall still existed, though the location had moved. The princess was tenacious!

He could only conclude… the princess wasn’t aware of the danger she faced. She probably didn’t remember what she saw, maybe some sort of temporary amnesia.

He could hear the loud music and wondered how the King could let caution to air and invite such a crowd. But of course, he would have had security beefed up.

Shiv sat upon a nearby tree from where he could watch the west wing entrance through the high focus binoculars. There was no movement which meant the princess must be in the venue.

He looked around the palace’s perimeter from his line of vision but couldn’t find anything amiss. He wondered if he should continue watching or leave for the night and come again… when he heard movement around the bushes near the opening.

Suddenly on high alert, he saw two women… WOMEN? Really?

Not just any woman… it was the princess with her friend. He hadn’t seen any pictures of the princess in recent times. Of course, he hadn’t allowed his friends and their men as well… to protect her privacy but what he saw now wasn’t something he had expected. The princess had grown into a woman… a beautiful woman, and in this attire that she wore, his heart skipped a beat, and his brain went mush.

The princess was accompanied by her close friend he only knew as ‘Aarti.’ They were running off somewhere. So what on earth was going on? He couldn’t reveal himself just then. It may result in him getting arrested for trespassing and endangering the royal family’s lives.

Right then, the princess halted and looked around as of she sensed his presence. Oh goodness… his vanilla tinge!!!

He stood still while the women made their escape. He soon followed them through the shadows and how the princess frequently looked in his direction as if sensing his movements, he felt like a fool…

The women reached the foot of the hill on the other side, and there was a …goddamn motorbike. Before he could get his bearings together, the women rode away….

He pinched himself to remind himself that he wasn’t dreaming. Without wasting a moment, he sprinted across the winding road towards the hutments at the foot of the hills. He stole a bicycle parked there and struggled to peddle the rickety thing down the remaining of winding road. Fortunately, he found a motorbike parked near a closed ‘dhaba’ and it was a child’s play for him to get it started. Before the owner could realize the bike missing, he was gone.

He sped for a considerable distance hoping and praying that the women wouldn’t do anything stupid. He hoped they had taken the same road spread ahead and not any detour.

He finally caught up and heaved a sigh of relief as he followed them at a distance. Then, finally, they reached a nightclub, and his head reeled at the thought of the princess exposing herself before the world where the danger lay with her name on it!

The place looked new but sent negative vibes, the scarlet hues from the lighting almost blinded him. this didn’t look good… at all.

He discarded the motorbike and took cognizance of the surrounding. Finally, he zeroed in on a vehicle he knew he would need if he had to make a quick escape.

He entered the nightclub…

 

©priyagole

NE8x® recognizes your efforts & contribution as Literary Honoree for Litfest 2021 Edition 7th May RABINDRA JAYANTI To commemorate spirit of literary excellence on Tagore’s birthday, NE8x® Litfest donated proceeds from registrations to social impact initiatives of the Tagore Foundation School

Chapter 14

A huge ball of grief was stuck in his throat as he began to hyperventilate. He was frozen to the hard, jagged ground with the droplets of rainwater falling on him from the crevises of the ruin. He didn’t care anymore, and before he could gather himself, he saw some movement.

The thunder raged, muting the voices, but a huge man covered by a black raincoat walked near the Queen whose eyes stared daggers at the man. All happened in quick succession and before he realized the man in the raincoat dripping with water landed a blow on the Queen’s head.

By default, Shiv’s training set in and was on high alert. He had to save the Queen as his father would have wanted to. So he made a quick mental calculation. Six men, including their leader and he could manage to contain them. But before he could move, a soft gasp alerted him to his side.

Princess Padmavati…

He watched her with expressionless eyes and vain tears streaming down her cheeks, and his heart caught in his throat again. But why didn’t she scream or react, and what was she doing here instead of being in her birthday bash in the palace? He realized she was shocked and hoped she didn’t do anything that would put her life in jeopardy. From his experience on the field, he also knew it would be detrimental to try to shake her out of her trance. He decided to have a go at the hooligans first and try to save the Queen, though he knew it would be futile by its grotesque looks.

But he had to do something for his father.

Before he could make his move Padma’s hand that had gripped the rusted bar on the window accidentally touched a loose stone that had been displaced, and the stone rolled down, landing next to the Queen, who was now gasping for breath. Shiv ducked instinctively and from the corner, watched in horror as the men looked towards the window. There was barely any light except for two flickering flames from the torches hooked in the walls.

The murky hues of mixed facial features danced before his eyes as Shiv tried to work around the mess just caused. He couldn’t immediately recognize them, but the raincoat man was very familiar. But there was no time for analysis. The princess was in danger. He didn’t know if they had recognized Padmavati.

His intuition weighed heavily, and he didn’t think anymore. He quickly pulled Padmavati away from the window, prying her hands away from the bars trying not to call for any more attention.

Instead of protesting, she lost consciousness, and he hoisted her lithe body on his shoulder. He moved away from the place even as he heard footsteps. It would take a while for them to reach him, so he carefully treaded on the slippery stones, his knee throbbing where it had hit him earlier.

He landed on the soft exit, his boots digging into the slush, pain shooting through his leg. But at that moment, nothing mattered. He had to get Padma to safety, and the only place where she would be safe was the palace. It was a long hike, and he didn’t know how to sustain it, given the erratic downpour and the darkness. His backpack was biting into his skin, but he couldn’t leave any traces behind though it didn’t contain anything that linked it to him.

He rushed through the trees, disappearing into the dense growth, tracing back how he had arrived. His lungs burned, and his knees screamed. Yet he continued his sojourn with the sole aim of getting the princess to safety. At the back of his head, he wondered about the funeral arrangements for his father, who was likely to be disowned, but his father wouldn’t have wanted him to shirk this responsibility.

He halted beneath a tree deep into the forest, the palace still a steep hike ahead. He had to gather his energies. Fortunately, the rainwater must have washed his footsteps. He knew by instinct that he wasn’t being followed anymore. He held Padma like a child in his arms as he slid down with his back against the tree trunk. It was pitch dark, and as he settled, he ignored his screaming muscles to turn around to release his backpack and took out the torch. He shone it upon Padma’s face as she lay lost to the world on his lap.

Her beautiful face was a blow to his solar plexus. She was only sixteen, but her beauty was unparalleled. He looked away, berating himself for having such thoughts. He had no right to do so. He reminded himself he was doing his duty towards his father.

Just then, Padma stirred and turned towards him. Her lids were still shut but there was a slight frown on her pale forehead.

“Aai…. Aaai….” She groaned, calling out to her mother.

He wondered how much she would remember. He was sure she wasn’t in her senses completely when she witnessed the gruesome event unfold. For someone who had always lived a sheltered life, this would have been a massive shock to her. She would probably face PTSD for a long time unknown to her.

He instinctively held her closer to comfort her but she snuggled into his broad chest and wrapped her thin arms around his shoulder. He held her further close not wanting to let her go. Though she was covered in mud and her clothes were soiled, her inherent sandalwood fragrance was intact. His heart raced as she dug her face deeper into his rib cage. He placed the torch back into the backpack and rubbed her head till she fell into a deep slumber.

After a few minutes, when he had gathered his wits, he stood up yet again, and unwrapping her hand, he hoisted her back on his shoulder. He was fiercely attracted to Padma and swore aloud at his indiscretion. She was only 16 for crying out loud and way beyond his league.

He had slept around to satiate his physical craving, but nothing satisfied him, so he had abstained from any such contacts for the past year. In addition, he was never emotionally involved with any woman he had slept with before.

He now confirmed his suspicions. He was always attracted strangely towards the princess ever since he had seen her eight years ago. She held a special place in his heart no one could replace.

Of course, it wasn’t physical attraction then. But tonight, as he traversed through the challenging terrain, he realized he was a goner. He didn’t know what love was but what he felt for the princess was something he had never felt for anyone else before.

It was barely dawn as he reached the perimeter and as expected, the palace hounds were not in place; else, there would have been loud barking by now. He strutted painfully towards the wall. The princess had to have found a way to escape the palace confines; otherwise, she wouldn’t have escaped given the tight security. The fact that the palace was still brightly lit meant no one knew the princess was missing.

He knew it was vital that remained like that and no one should know what she had witnessed. It would put her in danger if his father’s last call was to be believed. There was something sinister going on that had cost his father his life and probably the Queen’s too.

He found a hole in the wall part that was slightly zigzagged and instantly knew it was where the princess had her escapade. He dropped his backpack at the entrance and slowly squeezed the princess through the wall, and his heart skipped a beat as she fell with a slight thud. He quickly followed her though the hole wasn’t big enough for him.

Fortunately, Padma had fallen on the flower bed, and he gently lifted her as she remained asleep. As he walked towards the palace garden, he was on high alert. He had only known the princess lived with her parents in the east wing.

Shiv saw a thick flower garden close to a fountain and laid the princess gently on a stone bench nearby. He wanted to drop her into her room, but it would alert security.

As he straightened up, she stirred.

“No… don’t go… don’t leave me please…” she cried in her sleep, and a tear escaped her eye. He wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms, and the intensity of his feelings surprised him. Not wanting to do something he would regret forever he moved away, and eventually, as he squeezed out of the hole in the wall, he felt as if a large chunk of his heart was left behind in the place garden.

As he raced towards the foot of the mountain, he knew what his father meant. He would continue the crusade started by his father.

He couldn’t save the Queen, who didn’t stand a chance against the blow but he would protect the princess with his life till the danger passed. He would get to the bottom of the plot to find out who planned to harm the royal family and why.

No harm shall befall the princess; he promised as he walked towards the nearest bus station. He was already on the phone, finally getting a network. He placed a call to the police and ambulance. They had to know what transpired in the fort.

He blinked back tears and prayed for the departed souls as he walked along the stony path.

The dull cerulean canvas of his life

Never witnessed a moment of bloom

Would there be brightness, the slightest whiff?

Or was he destined to sink into fathomless grief?

©priyagole

Chapter 13

Five years ago

Shiv made it to Koini in the dead of night. He didn’t want anyone to know he was back. He had never seen the place after he had left with his father in a hurry. Eight years had flown in a jiffy…

He slowly made it to his old home that night laden with a backpack containing his meager belongings.

In place of his house stood a dilapidated structure screaming of neglect. The gossamer cobwebs’ silvery strands fluttered as he showed his flashlight around what was once his home. The place wasn’t visited by anyone, let alone claim the property. He knew the villagers were superstitious and didn’t want to visit, fearing his mother’s ghost. After all, she had killed herself. His mother in her death, had saved the house that she hated with every breath. But surprisingly, he didn’t hold a grudge against her. He was devoid of emotions…

The mango grove was no longer there and in place of the mulching carpets of foliage stood a colorless mass of dried and decayed nature, its malodor permeating the air from a distance. It was as if a missile struck the place. He teared up as he missed his grove. It held all his memories. He didn’t miss his parents as he missed his grove.

Immediately his thoughts were filled by his doe-eyed beauty. There was no mention of princess Padmavati anywhere online from the innumerable searches he had done all these years, and he knew it was to protect her from the world.

He sat on the broken steps in the darkness, effortlessly blending with the proliferating shadows in the half moonlight. The gentle night breeze patted his head, and he began to devise a plan of action. First, he would meet his father the next day and gather information. Then, he could find a way to protect the Royals with his contacts.

He didn’t know the emotion he felt for his father, but a strong sense of duty engulfed him. He rested his back against the wall of his old house and rested staring at the landscape spread across his line of vision. Would the princess agree to meet him? How would she look now? Given that the Queen was a beautiful woman, the princess was probably good-looking. Would she remember him from years ago?

He woke up with a jerk at dawn, hearing the rooster. He had a fitful sleep with the usual monsters making their way into his grove, where he hid and ended with the vision of his mother hanging from the ceiling. He placed a hand on his chest to calm himself. He had to cool down. He had to focus on his work right now… yes this was work as well. He had been alone all his life, and even to meet his father now, he had to take up a journey.

Captain Rawat was the only one who knew about his decision.

“Are you sure, Shiv?” Captain Rawat had asked the earlier morning when Shiv was all set to leave the gurukul.

Shiv had only nodded. He rarely spoke. Like his nickname, he preferred being in the shadows, unheard and unobtrusive.

“Shiv, here take this…” Captain Rawat handed a fat brown cover. “…its money. I know you don’t keep credit cards or even a phone, but you will need cash to sustain till you meet your father.”

“I can’t accept this, Captain…” Shiv had protested. But Captain Rawat had held up his hand to silence him.

“…This is a part of the money your father accumulated for you with me. There is a lot more, but the important details are in a locker, and the passcode for the bank deposit locker is with me. Whenever you need it, you can take it. And Shiv…” He patted Shiv’s shoulder. “…Don’t resent your father. Always remember, he has provided backup. ”

Shiv had stopped feeling emotions in the last few years, but his eyes had filled after a long time.

Hearing the birds chirping around him in his old home, Shiv drifted back to the present and patted the thick brown envelope in his backpack. It had 50000/-INR.

He walked for an hour towards the nearest town. The shops were closed as no one in the sleepy town woke up that early or stayed up beyond 8 PM.. He couldn’t afford to lose time anymore.

He walked towards a mobile phone store and picked the shutter lock that had seen better days. It was a piece of cake for him. He had already checked and knew there were no CCTV cameras around. Technology was yet to influence this town.

Using his torch, he quickly scanned the place and picked up three old mobile phones. The smartphone influx hadn’t hit the town yet, though there were myriad options. He chose the ones which were kept post repair. So he knew they were in working condition. The simple townfolk would take a while to register a missing complaint, or they would never do it. He just needed a day and hoped to meet his father at the end of it.

Tomorrow he would be in the palace if all went well. Today was princess Padmavati’s sixteenth birthday, and he hoped to catch a glimpse of his savior all those years ago along with the Queen who had been responsible for his presence on earth!

He quickly made a smooth exit from the store, shutting the half-lifted shutter behind him, and stealthily made it towards the nearest bus station. The place had started to fill, and milk and vegetable vendors were ready to board the earliest bus to the closest city to sell their wares. There were a couple of men with huge baskets filled with live poultry.

He had to get down at the third town and take other vehicles in the direction of the royal province.

The state transport bus rattled on the rugged, craggy state highway making Shiv even winder of the government knew the meaning of the work ‘highway’. Despite his experience of living in substandard places, this was back-breaking. He thought he could have run and reached faster. But he had to save all his energy since he had to trek through the dense woods to reach the palace unseen. He would then analyze the situation and ask for his father. He had memorized the map, and all he had to do was behave according to his nickname.

As per plans, he alighted the bus and covered his face to prevent the accompanying duft of mud from entering his nostrils. He quickly walked towards the diagonally opposite pavement and hitch-hiked a couple of tempos and a truck until he reached the mountain’s foothills, which hoisted the palace.

His heart raced in anticipation of meeting his father and… the princess as he cut through the wild foliage. He began his ascent late afternoon, hoping his attire camouflaged him well. The arboreal breeze whispered the directions he had to take as his training came into use. He could sense the direction of the winds and take the paths with his eyes shut, without banging into any solid objects, a skill he had mastered from childhood. The canopied bouquets of denseness grew in proportion as he scaled the heights literally.

It was dusk when he reached the area directly below the outer perimeter of the palace, and he knew they would be well guarded. He could blend and hide from everyone but the palace hounds and their strong sense of smell.

He looked around, and on a nearby hill, he could see the fort’s dilapidated but proud outer ruins. It started to drizzle, and he knew that it would pour heavily from the petrichor earthy fragrance. These regions received rainfall suddenly, and before the arrangements were made to arrange cover, the sun would smile brightly once again.

He decided to take a detour to the fort and wait for the grand celebrations in the palace to be over, following which the security would be weaned a bit. Then, his father too would retire for the night, and his chances of meeting up with his old man would be greater.

He was soaked to the skin by the time he reached the approach road to the fort. It was dark and he liked it like that. He thought of resting and munching the last of his energy bars. The rainwater had refreshed him and he was glad he had a waterproof backpack to keep his contents dry. He would change into one of the two pairs of additional clothing he had got along.

He used his pen torch to see the pathway. The fort screamed of neglect, and the dense growth around wasn’t a surprise. He didn’t want to be surprised by nocturnal attacks whatsoever and was trying to look around when his eyes fell on something peeping out of the nearby bushes.

Curiosity got the better of him as he crouched ahead and it was… a car. An ambassador model with a blue beacon. There was a Maa Bhavani sticker on rear window, which meant only one thing. It belonged to the Royal family. But what was the car doing here? He touched it, and it was warm and dirty, which meant it was recently placed here and dirtied by the slush.

Innumerable possibilities gathered in his mind as he made his way towards the fort entrance. He had to be careful because of the loose stones that could result in him falling and breaking his neck, and no one would know about him.

Right then it began to pour again, and he saw yet another something in white. Was that a cloth? He couldn’t make out in the blurring vision. Except that ‘something’ was moving inside the fort. It was then he realized there was a slight glow coming from the depths of the fort.

He was on high alert as he crouched ahead. It was then he heard some noises. As if people were moving together. Who would be visiting this wreck in this downpour?

Something was just not right. His leg hit a jutting rock, and mother of all pains seared through his body. Holding back a whimper, he made it up to the level from where he thought he heard the noises.

He thought he was dreaming but there stood a shivering Padmavati dressed in a white silk gown ruined by slush and torn.

Despite everything, she was breathtakingly beautiful, but at the moment, the look on her face was as if she had seen a ghost. He moved closer, but she seemed lost to the world as she stared wide-eyed through an arched window.

He closed the distance and peeped from the next window only to see a group of men gathered around a woman bound and lying on the floor. She was injured… she was… the Queen. And right across he saw another battered human tied and the man’s limbs were bent at weird angles. From what he knew, that would have to pain like hell but that man lay still.

His heart skipped a beat as he realized the man was dead…and recognition dawned in slowly.

It was his father.

©priyagole

Chapter 12

Shiv was woken from a fitful sleep by a shove the following morning, making him fall off the cot on the hard floor. Then, before he could get his bearings, he was jerked upright.

“Come on, pack up whatever you want. We have to move in ten minutes…” His father’s gruff voice echoed in the sparsely furnished room. The outer door was shut, and the room was dimly lit. Shiv was disoriented. Was he still dreaming? No, the burning bruise on his knees where he had just fallen was proof that he wasn’t.

He was stunned into silence and only glared at his father, who strew around the meager stuff lying in the house. Then, he picked up Shiv’s school bag, the only sturdy material in the house, and filled it with his few clothes.

Before Shiv could even fathom what was going on or ask his father, the latter dragged him by the arm outside to a waiting car. His father threw his bag into the back seat. Then shoving Shiv in the passenger seat, he got into the driver’s seat and swerved the car away. Shiv only stared at the blowing dust in the side mirror while the only house he had ever known became a speck till it completely disappeared.

“Pa.. papa.. where are you taking me?” He finally managed to utter.

His father maintained a stoic silence but kept driving, his eyes not wavering from the road ahead. The man looked tired as well. In the two years that Shiv hadn’t seen him, his father had aged. The greys in his temple, the additional wrinkles on his face, and wait… Shiv saw scratches on his father’s hands where the shirt sleeves were rolled up, and Shiv’s keen eyes didn’t miss the slight purplish tinge on the knuckles.

His father just handed over a chocolate bar, and Shiv ate it, not realizing he was voraciously hungry. He knew his father would speak whenever the time was right, and he had no option but to wait. He rested his head back on the seat as sleep claimed his tired body.

He woke up when the car came to a halt. They were outside a large gate. It was a school… an army prep school of some sort. His father got out and took his bag from the back seat where he had thrown it earlier. Shiv realized they had been on the road for the last eight hours. His stomach growled in hunger. He hadn’t eaten for a long time now. And it was dusk…

The gates opened when his father spoke something on the attached security system, and the duo walked inside. Shiv was transported to an all-new world. In the sanguine halo of the evening light, the bushes filled with varieties of flowers glowed, reflecting a strange aura of freshness, and the trees swayed gently in the breeze. Groups of children across age groups were running around, adding to the cacophony of the avian mates flying back to their nests. Shiva loved this scenario as it reminded him of his favorite mango grove. His eyes filled thinking about the neglect of his grove….

A loud metallic bong sounded, and the children rushed to one of the many cottage-like structures. His father led the way to an adjoining building, one of the two three-storeyed buildings.

They entered an office, and Shiv read, it was a residential school belonging to the Army Welfare Association, and he was somewhere near the Matheran hills. To his surprise, he was relieved to escape the rut back home.

He waited outside the office till his father spoke with the concerned authorities. He looked at the spotless white walls on the ground level, occasionally interrupted by paintings involving children in various physical activities. There was a wall filled with affirmations.

A moment later, Shiv was called inside the office. A tall, middle-aged man with broad shoulders dressed in a white full-sleeved shirt and crisp black trousers was standing next to his father. His fitness screamed from the contouring within the clothes. He walked towards Shiva and placed his hand on his head.

“Welcome to the Sainik gurukul Shiv. I hope you learn and grow to become a responsible citizen of the country….” The deep voice vibrated through his lean body, and Shiv only stared at the man in amazement as he continued. “…Your dorm shall be allotted to you, and you shall start schooling from Monday. Take a day to get acclimatized with the rules here.”

Shiv nodded, and his father signed some papers.

He walked out with his father, and something told him this was the last time he saw his old man.

His father placed a hand on his thin shoulders.

“My child, I am sorry that your mother and I haven’t been the best of parents to you. I hope someday you will be able to forgive us. But, son, don’t keep hatred in your heart; it will only weigh you down. The world is now open to you. I hope you fulfill your dreams, and this place here is the first step. There is only one thing I would wish you keep in mind….”

His father sighed and looked at the now dark sky filled with stars spread like diamonds glittering in pride. Then, he looked back at Shiv with moisture shining in his eyes, for the first time since Shiv had known.

“My dear son, you are my pride. I could never have a better son than you… It’s just that I have bequeathed my life to the royal family. Particularly the Queen. The King and the Queen helped me complete my studies, and when I ran from home, they supported my decisions. Whatever I have achieved is because of them. I would have been dead in the garb of honour if not for their indirect interference. You don’t know, but your mother had a tough time during labour and the Queen, a doctor, saved her. You were born premature and had slim chances of survival. Your mother was fragile and malnourished as well… But the Queen saved you both. The great woman sat through nights and took care of you in particular. She knew my reasons for staying away from the family and respected it though she wanted you to live in the quarters. I am currently on a vital mission for the Queen, and it’s dangerous. That is the reason I have been hiding you and your mother. Shiv, I want you to stay hidden and achieve your dreams. My life’s mission is to protect the Queena and the little princess. I shall send money to the principal, Captain Rawat whom we just met… May Lord Shiva and Maa Bhavani bless you, my child…” His father gripped his shoulders and suddenly dropped his hands, walking away in long strides.

Shiva stared at his father’s retreating back as tears rolled down his cheeks, instantly chilling him in the evening breeze as he watched the car fade away into the distance.

He felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, my boy; you must be hungry. Join us for dinner.” Captain Rawat smiled and led him to the mess.

Later that night, as he lay in his dorm, he shared with two other boys of his age; he couldn’t sleep despite being deprived for long. His life to date flashed before his eyes. He realized he didn’t have much to miss in his old life, except for his mango groves and the little girl with the most beautiful expressive eyes brimming with innocence. Would he ever meet her again? Would his father be meeting her in his line of work?

He reminisced his father’s departing words, and realization dawned. The Queen may have saved him during birth but the little princess, in her innocence, saved him from taking extreme steps or drowning in grief.

The next few years were spent completing his studies, and after his twelfth grade, he enlisted for training while simultaneously completing his graduation. His roommates and now his best friends Avinash Thakur and Maanav Deshmukh followed suit. Along with Avinash’s twin sister Anandi, they were directly recruited for ground duty after graduation. They made it a point to meet in the Sainik gurukul whenever they took a break.

A couple of years later, the trio was selected for special missions based on their unique skills. All three were well versed in combat, but Shiv was an expert in ‘shadowing’ and got the nickname ‘Shadow’ for his missions. Avinash was a martial arts expert with razor speed moves and received the nickname ‘Razor’. At the same time, Maanav specialized in firearms and received the nickname ‘Bullet.’ Anandi was a femme fatale but lethal with combat and got the nickname ‘Lolita’.

Their initial training, along with other selected candidates, mirrored the US SEALS. 90% of the recruits gave up in the first couple of months. But the four of them persisted and were now established in their area of expertise. Though they were placed in different missions and once in a while together, they often kept in touch via specialized untraceable accounts, and each knew the other had their back.

As ‘Shadow’ he conducted stealth operations and spied for the government where regular legal channels didn’t tread. He soon polished his skills, and since there was nowhere he could return during holidays, he worked throughout the year. He had fulfilled his dream, rather a part of it. Most of the time, he was engaged in combat or planning as per instructions from his superiors. Still, occasionally, when he was idle during the slack period, he remembered his angel…

When he was around 23 years old, his father called him one day in the Sainik gurukul where he had gone visiting. Though he regularly received money from his father, the man had never spoken to him. Shiv’s instincts screamed at something amiss…

“Shiv, my child…” He felt his father panting. “… something is wrong… drastically wrong. I think I made a grave mistake… an error of judgment.”

“Calm down, papa… tell me what happened.” Shiv tried to find out.

“…My child, the royal family, mainly the Queen and the princess, are in danger… I will lay down my life to protect them, but I think it’s not enough.” He had never heard his father being more frantic.

“But papa, don’t the royals have more manpower?”

“My child, there is something that the Queen has to protect with her life for the princess, and can’t involve outsiders… I can’t tell you everything… but… but promise me something.” His father was now breathing heavily, and for once, he worried about the man.

“What is it?”

“Promise me that whatever happens, you will protect the princess….”

“But papa, even if I go there, why will they recruit me? No one knows about me, do they?”

“My son, I have made the arrangements years ago… in case of my untimely demise, I had thought it would take care of you. But you never needed anything to date… My son, I am proud of you. I know I can trust you… but if you don’t want the responsibility, I will understand. It’s just for some time till the princess is safe… you are free to lead your life. I know I don’t have the right to ask you…”

“…I will do it, papa.” Shiv interrupted. “…I hope you never need me for the reasons mentioned, but I will do it.” He didn’t know why but the urge to protect the princess came up strongly, and the thought tightened in his chest.

“Son…” his father’s voice cracked. “…if something happens, meet up with Captain Rawat. He will guide you on how to reach inside the palace…”

After the call ended, Shiv ran till he was exhausted and fell on the hard mud ground. Something told him he had to be at the royal province. He had to meet his father at least once. Find out what was going on.

He researched a bit and found out it was princess Padmavati’s 16^th birthday bash coming up soon, and he had heard it was an occasion of celebration in the palace. So he was sure this was an excellent opportunity to meet his father.

As he typed his request for a vacation to his reporting officer, he realized meeting his father was an excuse.

He wanted to see princess Padmavati…

©priyagole

#triggeralert #suicidealert

Chapter 11

At fourteen years of age, Shiv knew about the birds and the bees, what was going on, and where the new items at home and those that adorned his mother’s body arrived. It wasn’t rocket science for a guy as intelligent and perceptive as himself.

However, if he pretended to turn a blind eye, the gossip around where he worked part-time or in the fields didn’t let him forget. As a result, his mother was labeled characterless, and the villagers often pitied him. His heart fell at the jibes thrown at his mother, more so in his presence, but there was nothing he could do. However, his mother was the only constant in his life, and he couldn’t afford to antagonize and lose her.

But he knew his mother didn’t sleep around, as was claimed. She wasn’t loyal to her marital vows, but Mujumdar was the only person she had been with. Shiv was sure. But the gossip mill kept going, and he turned a recluse. He gradually lost the minuscule friends he had.

He didn’t eat well enough, and around the same time, his father’s calls to him grew lesser. Then, finally, his father had stopped visiting altogether. Everything took a toll on him, and he was now skinny, and depression engulfed him in its folds.

He had stopped talking to his mother for months now; he came home only to sleep at night and left early the following day. He barely made any money and spent the evenings working in the mango grove. Trees gave him immense satisfaction, and he loved to get lost among them. He loved turning into a shadow and only wished he could stay in the shadows permanently to escape from his problems.

Almost a year later, he was once busy in the mangrove when he heard faint noises in the usually calm environs. So he stayed in the shadows and watched through a gap in the outer perimeter.

His mother stood shaking in anger with a hand on her hip and her hair messed up. She was facing a tall man with his back towards Shiv. But Shiv was sure it was Majumdar.

“How can you just shirk off responsibility like this?” His mother screamed, a rare occurrence when his father wasn’t around.

The man only shrugged and didn’t say anything angering his mother further.

“You son of a bitch, you dare to tell me to get rid of this…?” His mother spoke, touching her belly. “…I ignored all the insults and jibes thrown at me because I thought you reciprocated my feelings. I stayed in the dark because you were married, and your career couldn’t tolerate slanders. But I have had enough…”

“You bitch… I haven’t taken anything for free… On the contrary, I showered you with wealth. Don’t forget you have a husband too.” Majumdar’s deep voice roared, and Shiv shivered in a combination of fear and anger.

“What do you mean? Did you think I was a prostitute? I loved you, goddamn it… I could never love my husband despite having a son from him, and all you can do is shrug when I need you the most?” She was panting now.

“Have you lost it, woman? Do you expect me to leave my family and stay with you? Or take you and that bastard of yours to my bungalow? Are you mad? Stay within your limits. The entire village and the Koini province know the likes of you. How can you even say this is mine?” He bellowed, pointing towards her belly

Shiv had enough. He scrubbed his tears and tiptoed his way back into the central clearing, his perennial hideout till it became dark. The voices continued for a while, waxing and waning, providing him with the staccato of audio he wanted to shut off. He placed his palms on his ears and lay on the muddy ground. The rustle of the trees piercing his senses through his palms lulled him to sleep.

He woke up with a start and realized it was well into the night. His father had warned him never to get close to trees in the dark. So he gathered the mangoes dropped around earlier in the evening into his basket and covered it with straws so they could ripen. He would sell it tomorrow in the village market and get him food for a couple of days. From what he had witnessed, his mother would not be in a mood to cook anyway.

Stretching his lean body, he walked outside the grove towards his house. The grandfather’s clock that was forever on the uneven outside wall chimed 3 AM. Something felt odd…

His mother didn’t call out to him even though it was so late. Despite everything, she was always keen on getting him inside the house and shutting the main door every night. Not that they had anything valuable to steal, but she was particular about shutting the door at night.

Tonight she hadn’t come looking for him; neither was the door closed. But, though the outside lights were switched on, something didn’t sit right. So he sauntered towards the house and crossed its thresholds. The light inside was switched off. Was his mother sleeping already?

Impossible…

His hand touched the adjacent wall as he tried to feel the switchboard. Finding it, he switched on the light bulb even as the room was lit up in the yellow glow of the bulb, blinding him with its hues. He shut his lids and slowly opened his eyes… only to see his mother hanging from the ceiling, her saree tied like a noose around her neck.

The grotesque image before him stunned him to the core. He screamed as he tried to grab her legs, but nothing happened. He ran out screaming hoarse into the village and banged the doors. Some sympathetic villagers soon accompanied him along with the village doctor, irritated at being woken up at the ungodly hour.

His mother was taken down and made to lie on the floor. Then, after the doctor certified her dead and the lone police constable in the dead of night cleared it as a case of suicide, the couple of women covered his mother’s body.

Despite all that transpired, young Shiv didn’t shed tears. He didn’t know what he felt. He went through the motions on autopilot.

Slowly the other villagers gathered in the little courtyard where the body was placed on a hearse and his mother’s face; the only body part visible was smeared with ‘Sindoor.’ He realized his mother was so beautiful… but tears refused to flow.

He only wished his father could come… to perform the rituals as some villagers spoke. He wanted someone other than him to do the honors. He couldn’t get himself to cremate his mother.

But still, tears didn’t fall. Had his heart turned into a stone? It probably had. He was emotionless… there was no guilt, too, now that the initial shock had waned.

He was a horrible son, not good enough for his mother or father. While his father had left him earlier, his mother needed others in her life for a void he couldn’t fill. Was it all his fault?

His mother had once said she was stuck in the marriage with his father because Shiv existed. Though she later hugged him and prepared his favorite food, her words never left his mind. In the vee hours of the morning, as he sat staring at his mother’s mortal remains, the white cloth covering her cascading with ripples in the early morning breeze, he wondered if he was indeed cursed.

There were hushed whispers about him being the curse for his family. Did calamity befall on anyone he was associated with?

He sat still on the hard ground with a few villagers watching over his mother even as people trickled in and left after paying their respects, more like curious about the outcast woman who had killed herself. People talked about the funeral, and he couldn’t hold it anymore. He ran into the grove, and the clearing sucked him into its bosom as he sat holding his folded legs close to his body, hunger and thirst forgotten. He stared at the mango basket. What would happen to him? What would happen to this grove?

Suddenly the emotions that were held at bay surfaced upwards… he was officially all alone in this world. He craved company and only lost everyone in his life. Maybe he was destined to be alone.

He began to sob but soon recovered when he realized he wasn’t crying for his dead mother. How could he be so selfish and only be bothered by his loneliness when his mother lay dead waiting to begin her final journey?

Right then, little Padma had stepped into the clearing, and her kiddish banter had made its way into his heart. Something about the cherubic angel with missing upper incisors brought out an emotion he didn’t know existed in his heart. It was as if the stone within began to melt. Someone had shown him genuine kindness for the first time.

He later found out the Queen had come, and she had made the funeral arrangements through the NGO she ran. He was glad he didn’t have to go through the motions.

He spent a night in his house on the rickety charpoy, unable to shut the doors and staring at the oil lamp lit in memory of his mother. Some villagers had sent him food that remained untouched in a corner. He had only eaten a couple of mangoes, and his mother’s blurring face in his mind was soon replaced by the angelic face of the little girl who sought his sorry self… till sleep claimed him.

The gleaming sparkle of her eyes cleared the darkness that bequeathed me

The shower of blessings drove away emotional drought making my heart tidy….

©priyagole